Great Adventures of a Green Goddess

Plan C

The answer to the big question of where should I go on my next trip has been found.

First I’d considered a South American adventure as I haven’t been to that continent at all (that and Antarctica are my last 2). But Plan A was scrapped when I realised that with the period needed to save up for the trip. By the time I could get there it would very annoyingly coincided with a couple of big sporting events (a world cup and an Olympics). This tends to make places busy and expensive and really not a good time to go.

 

Then I thought about Africa or India as a possible Plan B as I have only been to the north of the great dark African continent (Morocco and Egypt) and I’d never experienced the beauty and chaos of India at all.

 

But then Plan C came a calling and it goes by the name of Canada.

Why Canada? Because I can!

Blame Canada and their changed visa rules for my new plan as I was checking out visa situations for my travels online noticed that there is a working holiday in Canada program that is called international experience Canada.

As soon as I read about it I knew my decision was made and my travel goal was clear.

Forgive me for I shall be Canadian (well at least for a year).

I am hoping I will fit in easily as I can already pass the Canadian test by understanding the sentence:

Can you pass a serviette, I dropped some poutine on the chesterfield when my tuque slipped over my eyes*

 

Thus I got to thinking about how I would do it.

Seems the best place to start is Vancouver. Not only it is supposed to be a wonderful city but that’s where flights from Aus/NZ land.

I could get a job at a ski resort (Whistler I’m looking at you), mount a Mountie (that uniform is hot and police carry their own handcuffs), shop at their local stores (mountain equipment co op), get a job at their chain of coffee shops (Tim Horton’s) and freeze my butt off in their icy winter (wait it gets to minus what???).

 

 

Later I discovered that I could also get a similar visa for the Czech Republic.

I love the idea of getting a place as a base in Prague and spending a year there while travelling around Central and Eastern Europe. There is a whole bunch of Western Europe I haven’t seen yet either.

 

While it would be brilliant to be able to do both, I don’t think I can due time and financial constraints.

If I have to pick one which seems to be the case then I will still go for Canada.

Thinking about it what I really want to see in the Czech Republic is Prague and Cesky Kromlov and I could probably do that in a week.

Canada is much bigger (hugely!) so it seems that it really needs more time to see it. Plus as it is a working holiday the lack of a language problem (well except maybe French in Quebec) is a significant incentive.

 

So Canada it is.

I am now thinking about the details such as what else shall I see while I’m ‘in the neighbourhood’.

My Canadian friend DannyBoy had once told me that there are flights from Canada to Greenland and if I am gonna go there I need to go to Iceland too. If only to see the total WTF of the situation.

 

I also considered the camp counsellor USA thing as it has an age limit. I don’t hear my biological clock ticking. I hear my travel clock and it says ‘oh I have to do that before I’m too old. Should I do it now? Otherwise it’s never’.

But then I asked my friend who did it what she thought and she said it is really stressful and not worth the money.

So I think I would probably be better off just saving up and maybe doing things like a road trip across the USA (route 66 baby). Or maybe finally taking that Caribbean cruise I have been dreaming of for most of my life.

 

So anyway the grand plan is to get a job in Australia, save up the cash, figure out answers to big questions like what will I pack? Can I go carry on only in cold climates? (Being a working holiday makes this harder).

Then I shall dress warmly and make my way to the great white land in the north of America.

Oh the excitement. Maple leafs ahoy!

 

 

 

*the translation is can you pass me a tissue/napkin as I dropped some of a dish consisting of fries covered in gravy and cheese curds on the sofa/couch when my warm hat slipped over my eyes.

Grounded

I recently read the book Grounded by Seth Stevenson. The premise of the book is that the author and his girlfriend attempt to travel around the world without flying.

 

While I personally love flying I would also like to circumnavigate the globe without leaving its surface. I have long held the dream of doing a world cruise .This being the easy way of doing this kind of trip.

But reading this did make me want to try it the harder way too.

 

Before I picked up this book I’d had an idea of a long overland trip.

I want to catch the Trans Siberian train from Russia to China via Mongolia. Then travel across China to Tibet (there is a train that does this route now). I would then visit Bhutan, Nepal etc before travelling around India.

I haven’t looked into the feasibility of this trip in regards to border crossings, visas and the best time of year to be in each place. (The trouble with travelling between hot and cold places is the extra clothes you need to pack. If I go to a hot place I would rather take only my smaller carry on sized pack).

 

I really enjoyed reading this book so I was actually rather surprised when I read the reviews on Amazon and found so many of them to be negative.

Yes I did think when reading the book that they didn’t spend much time in each place and that if I’d done it I would have spent longer exploring every destination.  But I just thought hey to each their own if that’s the way they want to travel it’s their trip.

Plus being a fan of snark I liked their comments about the people they encountered along the way. I laughed out loud at some of their quips.

 

I was not disappointed that the book did not go into much detail about all the places they visited. I am sure there are many books that do and if that’s what you want it can’t be hard to find one.

But this book focused on the actual journey of how hard it can be to circumnavigate the globe without leaving the ground and I liked that the fast pace of the book about their slow trip made this a quick easy read.

The book wasn’t bogged down with details but it still had some interesting facts about things like the development of container shipping.

 

Somewhat ironically the uncomplicated writing in this book means that this would be a good book to read on a long flight.

This post is brought to you by the letter F for fuck it!

So I thought I would update about what happened with the Finn after my little slice of heaven in Hel with him.

Because while Good girls go to heaven. I went to Helsinki.

So I could sum it up with in one word: Nothing.

But that isn’t much of a blog now is it?

 

So the Finn did email occasionally for a few months or so after I left Finland.

But in the end he was just like every other online guy and simply stopped replying to my emails.

Like a Nordic no dick he didn’t have the balls or common decency to say why or bye.

 

I wish I could say that it was a surprise but it is always this way.

I always know they are slipping away but I don’t know how to prevent it from happening. It just seems to be the unstoppable inevitable with hope slipping thru my fingers.

I really wish I didn’t have hope as I know it is stupidly unrealistic and it just leads to disappointment. But I am obviously desperate and dumb.

I have to remind myself that the freezing Finnish winter did not caused frostbite resulting in his fingers falling off.

He just didn’t want to email me.

 

So how did I scare him off?

It’s not like I said hey I really like this ring on the Helsinki map so how about it? (Although it was pretty and shiny).

I sent him an email of my brilliant suggestion, because I am full of good ideas:

“So I looked up the Schengen visa situation and apparently I can stay in the Schengen area for three months, but then I gotta be out for three months before I can return.
Therefore, in my little cash-is-irrelevant Schengen agreement compliant fantasy: I can travel around for three months and then you can tie me up and spank me like the naughty little girl I am until I have to go travel some more.

This shall be known as Vagabondage”

Well I thought it was good.

He seemed less enamoured with this plan.

 

I know that the fun finny fling has been flung. It was just a Finnish fantasy and the fine Finn fucking is finished. But I shall forever remember the fantastic time I had in Finland fondly.

I wish I could remember every single moment, as the memories need to sustain me forever.

Yeah so I realise that the idea of me having a romantic relationship is recognizably ridiculous

But I didn’t see why we couldn’t just be fabulous friends in the future.

Unfortunately even that was too much to ask.

 

So the thing is we emailed for about 5 months and met for 5 days. I guess you are wondering why am I so hung up on him.

What makes it hard to get over is that I know I most likely wont experience anything like this again.

He was everything I wanted in a man. He matched my interests and he was nice, smart, funny and attractive. Not forgetting rich and stupid enough to pay for a luxury hotel room for me.

I know I should have protested as a strong independent woman and not let him pay for things, but I liked having him take care of me and not having to think.

I am not saying he was perfect but I overlooked his faults (He didn’t have the looks of Brad Pitt, the bank account of Bill Gates or the dick of Dirk Diggler).

Why couldn’t he overlook mine?

 

I admit enjoying obsessing over this. Thinking that if things had been different he could have been the first guy I could have actually fallen in love with.

Not that I am stupid enough to do things like that. I have a strict policy that I will only fall for someone after they fall for me. Ha! as if right.

The fact is that I will sadly never know the wonders of loving or being loved by someone.

 

I just want to be able to look back fondly at my fabulous time in Finland. Instead of being invisible and ignored I was getting attention and it was something I adored. I felt attractive.

The memories are fantastic but they are mixed with the feeling of sadness that he rejected me.

At the time I knew that it would inevitably end but I didn’t want to think about the crushing disappointment that it would of course conclude with.

I just wanted to continue experiencing this wonderful happy time.

Now I just want to hear his cute little accent one more time. To look into his beautiful eyes, feel his arms around me again and kiss him.

And other such flights of fancy.

But it is never going to happen again.

 

So to sum it up in F’s:

The Finnish fling was a fantasy. It is finished and all I can do is look back on it fondly. It would be easier if I was frigid. I had hoped we could be friends but that faint fancy has flown now. I want to forever remember the frisky Finn foreplay but my memory is slowly fading.  

 

So in the end it was just the same old story. I liked him but he didn’t want me. Same shit different dude. I just really wanted him to be different.

Fuck it.

Where from here?

With my two years up and thus my working holiday visa expiring I had no choice but to prepare myself for leaving lovely London. Time to say ‘Goodbye UK, it was fun while it lasted’.

 

Yes I really did enjoy my time in England. I had a job I didn’t hate, good flat and great friends. I love the endless variety of options and things to do in the cosmopolitan metropolis (I may not have taken advantage of enough of them but I like that there were there).

I was sad to be leaving London, but also excited at the prospect of what adventures lay ahead of me.

 

Thus some thought had to be put into planning which travel options would be the best use of the money I had been faithfully saving from my job.

When you want to see everywhere and have limited funds big decisions must be made.

 

Neither my bank balance nor my death wish, were large enough for my new favourite grand travel plan:

I want to travel to all the countries with names ending in stan with a Stan from Southpark doll. This tour would be called Stan sees stans.

For those of you into trivia the countries are Afghanistan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, and Uzbekistan.

I was chatting to a friend about it and asked ‘can you name all the stans?’

His answer: ‘Iranistan’.

Close but not quite.

 

Now if money was no object and I was mega rich I quite like the idea of travelling around in a million dollar vehicle. Behold the beauty (on the inside) of the Unicat TerraCross.

It was on Snopes as a garbage truck (what people guessed it was from its outside looks) that had been converted to a camper.  But it is custom made and very nice indeed inside. Check out the hidden luxury of one of these babies in this video.

Seriously how cool would it be to drive around the world in one of these!

It would be like touring the world in a luxury home. You don’t have to worry about what to pack. Just take it all with you. Forget worrying about packing the kitchen sink. It has one, hell it can even come with a boat included!

Now sure I can’t actually drive the thing. But if I could afford this then I could afford to hire a chauffeur/butler/housekeeper/chef/mechanic/manservant (all in one, it’s not that big!).

Ok so I do see some downsides to this vehicle.

Not too eco-friendly, I bet you would pay a sum equal to the debt of a small third world country each time you had to fill er up at the petrol station.

Plus the design seems to have the bathroom and kitchen close enough to give me flashbacks to my time in a scummy London hostel...

 

So back to being more realistic my plans were forming around the fact that I wanted to return back Downunder via Asia.

This is because I flew to London via the USA and I wanted to complete the full circle of the globe.

Plus Asia is cheap and there is lots I haven’t seen there yet.

 

Actually my first idea was when I was doing the medical trial. I could travel around Central America for 6 months then return back to the UK briefly for my six month follow up appointment before heading home.

 

Then I considered a tour of Europe as I should see some more of Europe while I am here.

Where the hell is matt? The guy, who made my all time favourite YouTube video, recommends saving Europe for when you are older as it is an easy destination (Plus you need the saving time as it is the most expensive).

But honestly I kind of would like to do one of those Top Deck or Contiki race around Europe bus tours (Even if I end up with the famous contiki cough).  With a trip like that I could have more of a taste of Europe and see what places I wanted to return to for more in depth touristing later.

I’ve read Rule number 5: no sex on the bus and it seems like they would be a fun experience and something you can only do when young (due to the 18 to 30something age limit).

 

I had a look at the longest camping tours offer by both companies and they cost around £2650 for the tour alone (add extra food, entertainment, sightseeing and souvenirs expenses and ouch!).

A major issue was also that as they involve camping they are done during the summer. So the last tours for both departed well before the date Her Majesty had declared that I must be officially out of her hair.

 

With both the Central America and Europe options I was hoping that there would be enough money left in my savings for a short stopover somewhere in Southeast Asia.

 

In the end I didn’t go for these options because I really wanted to stay in the UK until my visa expired. I paid enough for it, I should get my money’s worth. Plus you know I liked being there.

Another major plus to working until end of visa was that it meant that I’d be saving up more money before setting off to see some more of Planet Earth.

 

Thus I went mostly with the option of staying maximum allowed time in UK and then a more extensive travel itinerary around Southeast Asia.

As well as the usual backpacker route of the Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos loop, I want to see Komodo Dragons in Indonesia, Orangutans in Borneo and Sultans in Brunei.

I don’t know if I’ll have enough to do all of that but we shall see how it goes.

 

As well as Asia I did add in some Europe as it was just across the channel and simply begging me to pop over and visit.

My London flat was an international mix and I had a Swedish flatmate who returned home to her land of massages and meatballs and invited me to visit. She also suggested that I could visit the other nearby countries while I was in the neighbourhood.

Thus the idea just went from there and before I could say ‘Sweet ass of Jesus have you seen the prices?!’ I’d booked me a little Scandinavian sojourn.

Actually think it is a good choice to visit Scandinavia while my money is in British pounds as it makes the exchange rate look much better.

 

Another ex-flatmate influenced my next choice of country too.

Why yes my plan is to travel the world crashing on the couches of friends, to become a certified couch crasher whose mission is to travel the world and crash on as many couches as possible in a world couch domination tour! (I think this goal will be more easily achieved if I’d actually join couchsurfing, something I haven’t done due to not having a couch of my own to offer).

So anyway the plan came to include a little more Europe as he’s Italian and Italy has always been high on my list of places I wanted to see so that was an easy decision.

 

I booked my trip as far as Hong Kong and Chuck’s apartment where instead of a couch he offered a folding camping bed. He had a little job for me to do there and I don’t mean one that started with blow...

So I would go do that and then find my way from there to exploring Southeast Asia.

 

Emirates had the cheapest flight to Hong Kong, so a stopover in the UAE could be had on the way.

I had wanted to visit Dubai ever since I had seen the aquarium in the big mall leaking on the news.

The fact is that Dubai is bankrupt and I doubt that they are going to be able to keep up with the maintenance required for all their big fancy building projects. So I wanted to see the place before it crumbled!

 

So that’s how the planning went down.

Next is packing and then it’s Showtime:

Tickets?! Passport?! Money?! Panic!!!

Summer of 09

So at the hostel I have previously mentioned that the boys have nicer bathroom bathing facilities. They even have the luxury of stalls with doors for their showers while we have lame shower curtains that don’t quite manage to cover the whole opening and do as clingy shower curtains tend to do and try to stick to your body.

But there is the advantage of having a radio playing in the girls’ bathroom. The boys have to enjoy their lavish private showers in silence.

I have actually seen chick’s hanging out in the bathroom as it’s a nice semi private place to have a chat with good music in the background.

But I have been feeling that the radio has been trying to tell me something, I think it is speaking to me in song. It keeps playing the same song whenever I am in there, Bryan Adams Summer of 69. Which I have come to believe is taunting me with the line about the best days of my life. It’s like it’s sending me a message asking if this is what it is supposed to be, if this is what it’s all about.

I mean these should be the best days of my life right? But am I that happy? I mean sure there is always the whole incel thing to bring me down (no 69 with my baby for me). But I should be happy about the travel aspect of my life, instead I feel stressed about finding a job (I didn’t plan on a recession when I finally attempted to live my dream!) and how much I want to see and how can I afford to do it all?

Chuck seems to find joy in constantly nagging me to go travelling. Giselle is considering going travelling and then back to NZ if her boyfriend who was made redundant can’t get a job so she suggested that I should travel too.

So I was definitely considering it.

Then I got the latest rejection from a job I interviewed for, they left me a message on my phone to call them. And I was all oh this is different from the usual email or ignoring. But it turned out they just wanted me to waste my phone credit to call them and be told it was a no go. Thanks for nothing guys, next time just tell me in the message you left…

So anyway with the no go on the job I decided I had to go with the travelling.

Being a beginner budget backpacker I simply went online and just looked for the cheapest airfare I could get to anywhere in Europe.

I booked a flight on a Tuesday for a Sunday morning flight to Alicante Spain with Thomson Airways. Nothing like the last minute to make your travel plans all the more exciting.

My little gherkin friend decided to accompany me. Yay it was a scary thought to go alone, of course I would have done it if he wasn’t there. But strength in numbers and all. I was very glad to have a friend to share the journey with.

So the trip began with a bus ride late Saturday night to Gatwick airport. I used the internet again to book us a bus all the way to the airport, then during the ride I found out that I could have taken the tube some of the way which would have been quicker and easier (especially since we didn’t know exactly where to catch the bus). Ah first lesson learnt.  

At the airport after exploring the terminal area I tried to sleep but wasn’t too successful despite the luxury of a carpeted floor. All the seats were taken by other sleepy travelers who had gotten in early enough for prime placement. Perhaps they read the budget travelers guide to sleeping in airports and know all the tricks a newbie like me is yet to discover. Checked in for the flight around 4am and went airside. A female security guard patted me down. Most action I had gotten in awhile (unless you count the room service I provided at Chuck’s hotel on Thursday, yes I wore the boy out and then went on my merry way).

I didn’t get the full rubber glove treatment, I am sure The Gherkin was disappointed that he was ignored. But he did get a lot of attention on the way into the UK. They detained him and searched all his belongings. No full body cavity search was done thou and I know he is deeply disappointed he missed out on this intimate experience. I am sure he would have enjoyed it.

But with our body cavities remaining virgin (well for at least one of us…). We celebrated making it airside by having some brekkie and checking out the duty-free shops.

Finally we boarded the plane and which I guess is officially the beginning my European Odyssey

Visa Watch 08

Forget watching the Olympics my current obsession was to follow the progress of my UK working holiday visa application.

I sent it platinum post so I could track the package online.

Therefore I know that it went via Sydney to Canberra and was delivered and signed for on the 4^th of August.

After that I kept checking my credit card statement online to see if they had charged the fee, as we all know that of course that’s what they do first.

It was finally charged on the 14^th August.

Now I can’t think of anymore ways to stalk the progress online.

But according to their website the application should take 20 working days since they received it before the 12th.

But I guess that realistically the time should start from the date they actually began work on the application. A quick look at a calendar tells me that twenty working days from the 14^th is the 11^th September.  If I get a reply on that date (and its approved), this doesn’t give me much time to book my tickets and do all that I want to do if I want to go to the UK in October like I always planned.

I know that I will go and stay with Eggy in northern NSW.

An idea I am considering is to go to Cairns and play tourist before flying down from there.  I am looking into options on how to get my stuff to Eggy’s as I want to store some of my precious possessions with her. I am gonna have to be ruthless however and only keep what I just can’t bear to part with.

I have been playing with the fun little thing on the Air NZ site where you put in starting and finishing points and then pick the stopovers. Currently I am thinking I will go from the Gold Coast or Brisbane to Auckland spend some time in NZ (pick up some warm clothes while I am there as I am so gonna need them!) flying down to Wellington as well (to see the family there), then from Auckland to Los Angeles. Which I am getting pretty excited about as I remember sitting on the school field as a young innocent school girl and solemnly declaring that I couldn’t die until I had seen LA and now I am going there! It’s like achieving my childhood dream. How sad am I? But whatever, I wanna write my name on a star on the walk of fame and go to Disneyland and see Venice Beach, The Santa Monica Pier and The Getty Centre…

Then I jet off to London!

This is when I have to do horrid things like find a job and a place to live but I am trying not to think about that. I’ll just deal with it when I get there…

Besides it’s not as scary as the thought of staying here and working at a job I hate for the rest of my life!

Micronations: The Lonely Planet Guide to Home-Made Nations

This is a top notch book. Ya just gotta love the people who decided to just declare their patch of the planet to be a self governing state. It’s like screw you guys I’m making my own country!

Remember on Family Guy when Peter created Petoria? 

Yeah well I will try not to have a powerful hegemonious state declare war on me…

I think that I would self proclaim my own nation by buying myself a lovely private island.

Of course it wont be an easy search for a homeland as I don’t want anything too tiny, I don’t want my nation to be too micro as if I want to have a beer and an airline to be a real country like the Frank Zappa quote says in the introduction of the book then I need the space for an airport (and a brewery). Admittedly being the vain sort I want a decent airline with some nice widebody jets as opposed to a single rusting Cessna…

My nation would be a vegan utopia (no name yet but I am open to suggestions) where I could grow most of my food and eat it raw and freshly picked like the longest living people in the world do.

In the book Healthy at 100 by John Robbins I liked how BhutanThey have banned hunting and fishing and are dedicated to environmentalism. How very cool is that? I am so totally copying!

was described. Instead of gross national product (GDP) they measure gross national happiness. So they concentrate on retaining their culture and providing education and healthcare to everyone rather than economic development. They are also a Buddhist state so don’t kill animals for food which rocks!

The place is not perfect of course and the down side is how they have treated the Nepalese refugees. I feel for them being treated like outsiders and not being integrated into society. But then you do feel for the Bhutanese about not wanting to be overtaken by them, not an easy situation.

In the micronation book I agree with North Dumpling Island and Lovely about banning guns and bearing arms but allowing bareing arms or legs. I admire the gay rights stance of The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands the abortion rights and legal euthanasia policies of the Empire of Atlantium, plus I love that there is no discrimination of species in Whangamomona in that they have had both a poodle and a goat as president.  Now I may be an egomaniac but I think I would want to be head of my state so everyone would have to respect my authority (or as I like to put it like Cartman Authoritah!) . Maybe ruling as a princess, mostly because I have always wanted a tiara…

I would like to find out more about the Ernest Callenbach novel Ecotopia as with its women in political power, 20 hour work weeks, elimination of pollution and worship of trees and plant life it sounds like my kinda place.

101 places not to visit

I was most happy to find this book in the local library, as it was on my list of books with lists to read.
The book is a lot like the Molvania book. Only real difference is that this book lists real places while Molvania is just completely invented by some humorous ingenious demented minds.
It was just easy amusing reading not to be taken at all seriously.
My former city of residence in NZ didn’t even get a mention. I am sure that John Cleese will be very upset at the city’s snub as he has declared it to be the suicide capital. A fact I now must tell everyone whenever they ask where I am from.
The book failed to diminish any of my desire to see the world so I do of course plan to go to many of the places listed.
There was a travel expo here and I went and got me a whole armful of brochures for European tours.
I was thinking of starting my European experience with an escapade doing one of those cheap camping trips where you see like 20 countries in 7 weeks.
I was thinking that if I did that first then I could see where I like and go back.
Plus if I couldn’t find a job and ran out of money at least I would have seen Europe. Europe as we sped by on a bus, but it still counts!
I have been told that the Contiki tours are fun and not really naff. Although one guy who I mentioned it to was like oh no you lose your virginity on those trips and told me how he didn’t want to lose his. I was most amused and pointed out that I didn’t think anyone was gonna hold him down and take it. He does have free choice! Ah Christians, so afraid of corruption…
But anyway these tours only run in the summer (it is camping after all) and my plan is to go in October. So I would either have to change the plan or wait in London until the next summer to go.

See more progress on: own all the books of things to do before I die

The Marriage Leap

Yesterday was a leap day (I only even realised it was a leap year the day before, how out of it am I?) traditionally on a Leap Day women can propose to men. I didn’t propose to anyone (where is that billionaire with a bad heart???) but it did make me realise that I don’t have anyone I particularly want to marry. But with the constant rejection I have experienced it makes me then I think that really all I want is a man to want to marry me so much that he asks me…

Someone to love me to such an extent that they want to make the ultimate commitment and have social recognition of our relationship.

I just finished reading the John Robbins book Healthy at 100 and while I could attempt the standard eat right and exercise stuff he also mentions how important relationships are (friendships count so I am not totally screwed in this area, just need to make the effort to maintain them). It seems that married people tend to live longer healthier lives. It would be nice to have someone special. A partner in life so it could be us against the world!

But being realistic I can see the down sides to marriage too.

One time I was vaguely watching a show on TV called something like Sex BC and it said that marriage was all about women being owned. It was designed so that men could control them and thus property and bloodlines. I don’t want to be owned. I want an equal partnership. Or even better I want to be the one doing the owning. I already have a whip I could use to keep them in line, yes them why stop at one? I always said I needed a couple, one to cook and one to clean. Remember that email that went around saying that every women needs a many men and the ability to keep them from finding out about the others?

Ok seriously I do wonder if I should want to partake in something that excludes some members of society? Would I be a good fruit fly if I supported something The Big Banana is yet to be legally able to obtain?

The John Robbins book even mentions that any health benefits are only if it is a happy marriage. If it’s a bad one then it will adversely affect health.

Oh its also not good for my blood pressure because any talk of marriage runs the risk of me getting worked up about the no marriage site again, oh no too late… 

They say western woman are shallow but they judge women on their looks,

They just want women that they have control over such as by stating that the wife must let him go out with his friends but she is not to be allowed to go out with hers.

They are a bunch of shallow chauvinistic control freaks. Aggghhh ok that is out of my system for again. Now I must think happy thoughts.

Being a girl I have thought about what kind of wedding I would like.

Remember how the 07/07/07 was a really popular date to get married? Well I have a date I like too, The Seventh of September I don’t know why, it just sounds pretty.

I think that I would elope. Running away to get married is just such a fun idea. With the bonus of no family dramas to worry about. Plus I don’t have that many people to invite so I wouldn’t have to worry about my side looking empty.

I envision a nice private ceremony on a beach or something.

And hey there is always my idea of the big banana and Eggy in grass skirts and coconut bras (I’m sure they will have to be full of alcohol too).

Since this is my girly fantasy we will of course live happily ever after and be so happy we make other people sick. And so just to rub it in we will have to renew our vows and I am seeing a quiet classy affair involving Las Vegas and an Elvis impersonator!

I speaka de English

So I went to the travel agent to look for some lovely photos of Europe to put up at work. I didn’t manage to find any suitable ones as I got distracted.

Yeah it happens a lot, but it was by a brochure they had on working holidays and volunteering so totally worth it.

It was the only one they had and it has a little on the UK working holiday I want to do.

But it also mentions teaching English as a second language overseas. Now I used to sit in class back when I was an innocent little schoolgirl (shut up I so was!) and think man I am so glad I am not a teacher I don’t wanna do that. But now I think well maybe it wouldn’t be that bad.

Of course there is the fact that when people ask me if I speak any other languages I point out that I have enough trouble with English.

Seriously I think my problem is that I learn too many words from reading them and that doesn’t tell you the correct way to pronounce them so I guess and sometimes I get it wrong. Then people laugh at me and I feel bad. But then again the students probably won’t know enough to know when I am wrong.  I would probably only be teaching the simple words anyway so I don’t need to be a freakin professor of linguistics. Sure I am not a cunning linguist but I will presume that I can handle it. I at least know better than engrish (and hope to spot more) So it’s all good.

I have not made any plans on what to do after Europe and now I am thinking well that’s what I could do after the UK thing. Be cool to add another country to the list of those I have lived in.

Of course I would have to be careful about which country I chose to go to.

I wouldn’t want to end up in a country full of fuckwits like that poor teacher in Sudan.

Ok maybe that was a little harsh but really if Muslims want to stop being known as violent idiots they defiantly have to step up their game plan and stop with the lets kill someone for a stupid reason thing.

Now teddy bears may be a bit naff but to chuck someone in jail because they named it after your god? Good lord it is an understatement to say it’s an overreaction.

I do have to wonder what the teacher did to piss off the person who dobbed her in so much. You would think that a nice person would simply take her aside and explain why it is not done in their culture.

So there must have been some underlying hate there.

Also since the class chose the name shouldn’t they all be killed too?

Ah well I am not surprised that religion and common sense just don’t go together.