Great Adventures of a Green Goddess

Good morning Vietnam!

My first stop in the vibrant country of Vietnam was the capital Ho Chi Minh City which was formerly known as Saigon and the central area is still commonly called that.

On arrival I went to look at a hostel that the girl who’d sat next to me on the bus had booked into. But it was pretty spendy and up five flights of stairs.

 

So I kept looking and while doing so a local guy on the street really pissed me off.

He kept trying to get me to go with him to a hotel he obviously got commission from. When I saw some people from my bus and went to go over to them he actually stopped me from talking to them! He really got me mad and I just turned around and yelled in his face that he should fuck off.

Not one of my best tourist moments but it was effective and felt great.

 

The hostel I ended up in was a great place that was half the price and half the number of stairs as the previous place.

Had a nap and when I woke for a moment I had no idea where I was!

 

My foremost mission was to change money. I went with a Swedish girl (She I shall name Janet) from my dorm that I ended up hanging out with a lot. The transaction was carried out at a jewellery store with a good rate and when I swapped my dollars to dong (funniest currency name ever) I instantly became a multi millionaire!

 

With such riches to spend I considered buying a pack raincover but they didn’t seem to fit. The litres of Vietnamese bags are somehow much smaller than the rest of the world.

The place is overrun with fake products of brands like The North Face and Crumpler.

 

I did buy a donut shaped cord winder at one of those shops full of cute little things. Well worth it as I was sick of having to untangle my headphones every time I used them.

At Ben Thanh Market I bought a couple of bead bracelets.

One was jade and the other sandstone.

Later another bracelet seller on the street told me that my new beads were plastic.

So I proceeded to pout and say that made me sad.

She got mad and called me a baby which I thought was hilarious.

 

The War Remnants Museum used to have the most excellent name of "The House for Displaying War Crimes of American Imperialism and the Puppet Government (of South Vietnam)." Later it was known by the lesser moniker of The Museum of American War Crimes then the War Crimes Museum.

I impressed Janet by being able to recognise a couple of the aircraft outside, a Chinook and a Cessna.

Inside I didn’t expect the many photos displayed to be so horrifically graphic.

 

The most fascinating exhibit to me was the pickled babies.

They had a set of conjoined twins I referred to as the two headed baby.

But I did think that there are lots of cases of conjoined twins in the world and they aren’t all due to the exposure to Agent Orange. So how did we know that it caused this set?

 

It became a running joke with Janet as she was known to have unprotected sex with random men. So I told her that she was going to have a two headed baby. I really wasn’t impressed with her behaviour. Dammit Janet! She was young and dumb and full of strangers cum. I even pointed out how strange it was that she took anti malarials but malaria was less likely to be fatal than AIDS.

 

 

Janet had made friends with a couple of other Swedish girls so I hung out with this blonde brigade.

We went to a temple that they liked the look of in their guidebook.

The taxi meter was rigged. And came to 200000 dong. We should have argued but just split the cost 4 ways and it wasn’t that bad.

Sometimes you have to realise that an extra dollar isn’t the end of the world I guess.

 

Another trick of the taxi drivers is to not have change. I did consider later the option of teaching them a lesson by getting and making a big slow effort of finding somewhere to change money for me...

 

In the end The Jade Emperor Pagoda wasn’t that interesting after visiting so many temples on my trip.  But outside it had tons of terrific turtles.

 

 

When Janet and I set about finding the Reunification Palace we managed to walk right around the block before finding the entrance. Seriously if we had just walked straight we would have found it in seconds.

The government building is a blast from the past. The decor is just as it was years ago when it was invaded.

 

The city was full of great little Vietnamese moments.

Such as having to sit on the footpath, our big western butts squeezed onto tiny plastic seats when we bought a drink.

Or when crossing thru the park how we became an attraction to the many students who wanted to practise their English.

 

The major experience and test of travel in Vietnam is being able to cross the road.

The number of motorbikes is astounding and at first you think that being able to get to the other side intact is impossible.

But the trick is to just confidently walk out and the traffic goes around you.

So you eventually you realise that it is actually the easiest place in the world to cross the road.

Mushroom, bad room, good room and a visa to vamoose

I went to stay in a mushroom in Sihanoukville.

This place was called Mushroom Point and it was at Otres Beach. The area only had a dirt road for a main street and as the place was flooded it wasn’t in great condition.

Mushroom Point flooded while I was there. But the water logging didn’t seem as bad as at the Done Right domes next door.

Places tended to have funny names like that.

 

The main mushroom had the reception/dining/ lounging area downstairs (you can rest not on a toadstool but in a hammock) and the dorm above.

Out behind it were the private mushrooms. These were a main mushroom containing a bed and a mini mushroom outside that held a bathroom.

 

The mushroom dorm room was a round room in the shroom that had five round beds each with its own mosquito net.

It was rather sweet.

What wasn’t so nice was the narrow rocky path and then scary stairs up there.

Ok I admit that I have a fear of heights and I am totally wimpy.

The stairs were more like a ladder, the horrible type of steps with big gaps.

And there was no handrail.

I told the guy running the place how dangerous I thought it was and he just advised me to go slowly.

Which I responded to by pointing out that I didn’t think that I could fall slowly!

 

Nothing bad befell me although apparently one night I slept thru a storm that shook the mushroom.

I walked along the beach, had fun in the fungus by lying in a hammock with the wifi. A hammock and the net are an awesome combination btw.

But then I got a bit bored.

 

So I changed to a hotel in central Sihanoukville.

The first place sucked big time. They told me it had wifi, but there was no signal at all. It had a bad smell that just seemed to get worse. There were large roaches that seemed fond of my bed. I slept with the light on that night!

Then finally when I went to leave the door broke and locked me in.

I complained about it and their solution was that I should move into another room that was twice the price!

They were all the wifi works in that room and if it doesn’t you don’t have to pay. So I pointed out that I was told that the wifi would work in the room I was in and it didn’t so I shouldn’t have to pay for that!

 

I moved to another place that was exactly what I wanted. A room with private bath, TV and wifi for just $6 per night. I settled in and went to visit the main beach.

Serendipity Beach is lined by restaurants built for long stretches of beach bumming. But it is not that restful as a lot of children spend their time on the shoreline trying to sell stuff.

But the hardcore hawking wasn’t just left to the youngsters.

 I was sitting eating breakfast when a woman came up and started using thread to remove the hair on my legs. Yeah way to go with reminding me that I’ve been slack about shaving them.

 

In Cambodia the ATMs give out good old American greenback dollars. They spit out the cash in large denomination notes that no one has change for. I had trouble changing a $100 bill to some smaller much more usable bills. Eventually western union came to my rescue and broke the bill.

It’s kind of funny how American dollars are used for the main amounts and the notes of Cambodian riels are used as coins would be in other countries.

 

I had heard that Snooky (as Sihanoukville is affectionately called by the many backpackers who find their way there) was the best place to get a visa for Vietnam and I was very impressed with the service.

I arrived at the office as it was about to close for lunch. But the guard let me in so I waltzed on in. No one was around but I found a form and started to fill it in.

The employee appeared and he just wanted to know the date when I would be entering Vietnam. He didn’t even make me complete the whole form. I handed over the required cash and got the shiny new visa in my passport.

The entire process took about ten minutes.

Jobs, scams and nuclear fallout

So I was looking for a job in Brisbane and the best I have gotten is a scam mail.

Justin Brazenor wants to hire me to do billing management. Look at the website he made! Awww it’s just like a real one. 

I got a message from a job website that a job I had applied for was pulled for being fraudulent so I assume that’s why I got the email.

 

It smelt scammy to me from the moment I read it. But I was curious as to what exactly their angle was so I replied and it is so ridiculous that I am actually highly amused.

Apparently in order to get paid I need to obtain an ANZ Travel Card or Commonwealth Travel Money Card and fill in a form advising them of its number. Oh what a funny coincidence that these cards can be used just like a credit card and there is a minimum load of $200.

 

Let’s pretend it’s not scammy for a moment and consider using these cards.

They have a set up fee, then they are nice enough to let you load the first balance for free but after that it costs each time. Plus you have to pay a fee each time you withdrawal money from an ATM. And you are supposed to believe that this is the best way for them to pay you and then access your newly earned funds?

I don’t even think these cards are good deal for travel!

 

I would have liked to have baited this scam but unfortunately they had my name and rule number one of scam baiting is you don’t bait with your real name.

A quick Google and it seems the scammers are back to the usual money laundering Western Union scams so perhaps no one was dumb enough to fall for their card tricks.

 

 

 

I went for an assessment for a job (a real job!) getting bitched at by strangers for $25hr. While I am not that into the constant complaining I do need the cash.

Unfortunately the assessment consisted of a number of tests and they expected me to do maths. Without a calculator.

How silly, we have the technology so why waste valuable brain space remembering how to do long division? I can kick ass with a calculator but with a brain full of a cold virus and just a pen and paper to work with, not so much...

I wasn’t surprised when I didn’t get the job. But considering that there were 25 positions and 500 applicants I was just in the majority.

 

They offered feedback and perhaps I do have a bit of a masochist streak as I thought I would give it a go and let them tell me how much I suck.

Although I would really be impressed if they were that honest instead of the usual ‘due to the high number of applicants...’ that every rejection email claims.

The woman was actually very nice and did indeed say the usual stuff about it being an extremely competitive process blah blah blah.

I was not shocked to learn that I was rejected because my maths sucks. What did surprise me was when she said I was fine with the group discussion.

 

We had to do a variation on the lifeboat game. The one with a list of people and having to decide which people got the places in the fallout shelter to go on to repopulate the earth.

I tried to be good and didn’t share that no doubt humans were responsible for the earth’s terrible radioactive predicament in this scenario and thus really we should just let them all die off and give the planet a chance to recover.

I resisted the urge to get on my soapbox and lecture on the benefits of the voluntary human extinction movement.

 

Hey I have the out of the box thinking that wondered if we should offer to let the woman pregnant with triplets get an abortion and have a place in the shelter (there are only 8 spots and each baby counts). On second thought she wouldn’t have been a good choice as she did IVF to get pregnant and I got rather into the whole game and trying to select the best breeders.

If your dried up old ovaries were over reproducing age or didn’t have any useful skills you were out. If I thought you had any conditions that I suspected could be congenital and thus that would pass on to your offspring I questioned your place procreating in our future.

 

The power went to my head and I wanted to breed a screaming shitload of superior superbabies with the passion of the Nazi’s.

Well with the difference that I suggested that we pick a people from every ethnicity to create that great big melting pot in the future.

I even suggested in a more polite way that everyone in the shelter should be engaging in a nonstop orgy to ensure that babies were made between every possible couple as genetic diversity would make our survivors stronger.

Scarily I all but had a maniacal laugh as I tried to shape the future like a mad scientist.

All I can console myself with is the fact that the actual job had nothing at all to do with eugenics.

Santorum gets me frothy at the mouth (EW!)

What the hell is with America and their idiot politicians?

Take for example Santorum. That frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.

No wait I just mean Rick Santorum the festering boil on the backside of American politics, the biggest bag of batshit crazy since Michele Bachman.

 

Oh and on that subject, I think the real problem with Michele’s presidential campaign, well apart from her being a right wing whack job was her husband. The mincing Marcus. Yeah when you are campaigning to appeal to the homophobes of your country how can you not realise that they aren’t gonna want your closeted queen of a husband as their new first lady?

 

So anyway Santorum doesn’t just come from assholes, he is an asshole.

Someone needs to tell the frothy fucker that he is trying to be president in 2012 not 1812.

Seriously he wants to ban woman from fighting on the front lines because they are weak little things who should not be allowed out of the kitchen.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted to repeal the woman’s right to vote. After all if he doesn’t think that they should have any control over their own bodies he certainly wouldn’t want them to worry their pretty little heads over something like deciding who will make all their reproductive decisions for them.

 

There is a Santorum support song called game on by two girls who I can’t really blame for not knowing better as they seem like the type who are the offspring of fundies. Probably raised in a Dugger style family where thinking is seen as bad and obeying your parents/god is number one above all else.

When the Duggars think supporting Santorum is the best thing since breeding and feeding em tatter tot casserole you know you are onto a bad thing.

 

So anyway these poor girls probably have no clue what life would be like for them if Santorum was president. Now I know that it would be terrifying and yet a little amusing to have a President Frothy and The Onion would certainly love how easy it makes their job.

But let’s take a quick glimpse into the horrifying possible future I call Frothyland. And I don’t mean the simple case like if either of these girls are gay they won’t get marriage equality, oh no any progress towards the legalising of gay marriage will be halted and missy you will get back in the kitchen, married to a man, barefoot and pregnant like you should be.

 No let’s take a deep and more terrifying look into Frothyland in which first of all there shall be of course the republican’s favourite thing of all, tax cuts.

This means less money for services such as streetlights and police. This is already happening.

Already women in America have a one in four chance of being raped.

Oh and in Frothyland birth control is banned. So the girls won’t be on the pill and after being brutally attacked they won’t be able to take the morning after pill either.

Thus the chances of being raped and the chances of that resulting in a pregnancy goes up like Santorum’s dick in a gay bathhouse. C’mon anyone that obsessed with what gay people do in the privacy of their own bedrooms has got to be repressing some inner urges...

Oh and here is a photo of him made up of gay porn because that shit is hilarious.

 

Right so sperm has met egg and thus a whole new person is instantly created whose life matters far more than the poor host/mother that this parasite is in.

Don’t get used to it little embryo. Your value to the right drops dramatically once you exit the birth canal.

So our little fetus is actually a gift from god. Now that’s a gift I would return but in Frothyland that is not allowed.

Oh yes you will look back fondly on the days when all a woman had to do to get an abortion was be raped again by a 10 inch shaming wand aka the transvaginal ultrasound wand.

 

Oh and don’t worry in Frothyland it could always be worse. After all if you had a medical condition that means it would be dangerous for you to be pregnant. You are just making that up to try and get out of having god’s gift, and there are no returns our favourite poop stain says. So no abortion for you!

Frothy thinks that you are a baby killing bitch, and how dare you think that you life is more important than that clump of cells inside you. They are a future baby and the fact that the parasite isn’t going to survive without its host is not something we think about when we have shit for brains.

So um nice knowing ya...

 

But let us hope for no such complications and so the little miracle is safely delivered. 

This is when another of Frothyland’s policies comes along to screw you once more.

See Santorum has stated that to get welfare you have to be able to prove who the father of your baby is. Good luck catching your rapist girls. Those police that are left probably aren’t gonna be able to cope with the workload.

This means you are on your own to pay for this little white elephant of a gift.

 

So in conclusion, yeah this is not a game you want to be on.

Leaving Bangkok like a bat out of hell

I knew it was time to get the hell out of Bangkok as I was feeling rather unmotivated to do anything. The fact that the traffic is insane didn’t help to desist my desire to vegetate.

Also not helping was the fact that I had been ill. My theory is that it takes a few days for the foreign germs to build up in your system and then bang you a one sick puppy.

 

It was pretty pathetic, one pancake lasted me 3 meals. I got a vegan strawberry pancake from Ethos (I had previously had a vegan banana pancake which made me feel like a real backpacker since the path I was treading is known as the banana pancake trail) and it was good. But I could only eat half for breakfast. I ate a quarter that night for dinner and then I thought I put it in the fridge but it turned out to be the freezer so I ate the remaining frozen quarter for breakfast the next day.

So with the illness, lack of motivation and all the scamminess I just had to get the hell out of Bangkok.

 

I am not saying that all of Bangkok was bad.

There was some good stuff and I am not just talking about the time that I randomly came across the Porn Beauty Salon. I can only imagine what makeovers are performed here.

 

I had a pair of Pants that we slightly too long. Just long enough that I kept stepping on the ends of the legs and it bugged me. But lucky for me on the street there was a guy with a sewing machine. I was wearing the pants at the time so I got him to measure the right length on me. Then I zipped off the legs and handed them to him.

I wandered around the area while he removed the zips, shortened the legs and then sewed the zips back on.

I returned, rezipped and had perfect pants for under US$3.

 

I crossed the muddy old (Chao Phraya) river on a boat to visit Wat Arun. I confess I took one look at how steep the steps are and decided against attempting to climb it.

I saw the reclining Buddha at Wat Pho and got a massage. It is the home of a traditional Thai massage school. Thai massage can hurt a bit a times but overall it’s good. I should point out that this wasn’t the type of Thai massage that ends in a happy ending!

 

So anyway it sick of feeling sick and tired of being unmotivated to see the city I knew it was time to move on.

The way to go was definitely to head south and find me a tropical island paradise.

The idea was going to one of the islands in search of the perfect white sand beach with clear water that is the perfect shade of blue. I also wanted perfect palm trees to swing in a hammock from.

So with this idyllic image in my head I booked a bus out of Bangkok.

 

Like Rimmer in Better than Life  my subconscious mind that obviously hates me and apparently has some influence over my body took over. As just before I got on the bus I got the visit from aunt flo.

Yep the perfect time for heavy bleeding is right before a journey of unknown length where the bathroom options at the stops leave much to be desired (like toilet paper, running water and something better than a hole in the ground, oh and you get to pay for all this luxury too).

 

The backpacker buses that leave from Khao San Road are notorious for theft.

I guess they can be so cheap because they make up the rest of their profits by simply stealing them.

I was glad that I had a carry on sized pack and was able to take it up into the bus with me as people hide in the luggage compartment and then go thru the packs (locking them doesn’t help) as the bus drives thru the night and the passengers sleep obliviously above.

 

I actually found the bus to be quite comfortable. The seats had footrests and reclined far more than any airline seat I’d ever been in (but then I do always fly economy). They played a couple of movies and then the lights were dimmed.

The aircon is very cold but they provide blankets. A pillow would have been good but I had a jersey I bundle up under my head so I slept really well.

 

In the morning we disembarked our mighty coach (I got off with everything I go on with) and had to sit on the steps of a travel agency and wait for another bus. This time it was an old clunker and it took us to the port.

Then we waited at the ferry terminal until finally we boarded the Songserm ferry for the journey to the island of Koh Samui in the gulf of Siam.

By the time we arrived I was well past ready to relax in paradise.

Scammed in Thailand

As a newbie in Bangkok it wasn’t long before the dregs of society there made me their mark.

The first attempt was when I went to the Grand Palace. I don’t mean the fact that they charged the equivalent of US$13 to get in. Although I am not sure it was worth that relatively high price to see it. I mean it was nice but maybe not 400 baht nice.

I was most amused by the fact that the emerald Buddha has different outfits for each season.

Yes he gets dressed up like a Barbie doll. He was in his cute little rainy season outfit when I saw him. The other gold garments are for summer and winter.

 

Anyway so I was walking towards the Grand Palace and someone hung some bags of corn over my arm as I walked past. I tried to give it back and they would just do the Thai bow with hands together thing. Later I thought that I should have just said “catch!” and thrown the bags back at them.

 

They then showed me how I should feed the birds the corn while telling me it was lucky (Yeah I don’t think being scammed is lucky either).

So I didn’t want the corn and couldn’t give it back so I just poured it out.

They wanted to take a photo of me doing it with my camera but I was savvy enough to know that wasn’t a good idea.

I then went to keep moving and they of course wanted money.

“No I didn’t want it” I responded and kept walking.

I have heard that they will hit people who refuse to pay, but I got away fine.

 

The second time I was scammed I was not so lucky.

One night in my guesthouse me, an Austrian girl and a guy from Belgium were bored and somehow we got the idea that we should go and see a ping pong show. It’s on the things ya gotta see at least once in Thailand list.

So we went to Patong for the ping pong pussy performance.

 

A tout told us to come and see the show and it would cost us 100 baht each. Yeah we were stupid enough to believe him.

The bar was located upstairs (later I realised that they are purposely located to make escape harder).

The show was pretty sad really but the lady who had done her kegals actually aimed at us and hit us with the ping pong balls.

 

Then we found out this scummy scammy place wanted to charge us more money.

We argued since that wasn’t what the tout told us and they being true scammers said that the longer we stayed arguing they more they were going to charge us.

I feel very angry just remembering this.

I was going to only give them the money for my drink. Fuck them and their scams.

But I didn’t have correct change and I was just trying to figure out how to deal with this when the Austrian gave them the money and pulled me out of there.

She then said I had to pay her back.

This pissed me off even more. Sure she may have saved me from my stubborn ways and considering what scum these people are possible saved my life.

But the way she did it without asking me and then demanded that I give her the money made me feel like she was as almost as scammy as them.

I did give her the money but I wasn’t happy about it.

 

So the scammers only got 1000 baht out of me which in the grand scheme of things is not that much (around US$30). But it will get you quite far in Thailand. Sure I was stupid but it is horrible how they just prey on people.

I want to go back and burn the place down. Or at least spray paint ‘This is a $$Scam’ all over the steps to warn others.

Sometimes I think I really need to travel with a stun gun or something to take care of situations like these.

Longest. Flight. Ever.

Rosie took me to the airport making sure I got a photo of the bong recreation area on the way. She’s a good friend like that.

 

At O’Hare Airport she dropped me off at the international terminal.

I had thought I am flying international so I’ll go to the international terminal. Turned out I was supposed to think I am flying United Airlines so I need the United terminal.

Thus I got a bonus train ride between the terminals.

 

I quite liked the United terminal because there was a dinosaur. I don’t mean their geriatric jets either.

It was a skeleton of a Brachiosaurus actually not the real bones but a replica. But this is an airport people so they still get credit for trying.

Plus that’s not all folks!

To get to my gate I had to go under the airport apron and the tunnel had lights. Pretty changing colour lights ooohhh.

 

My flight from Chicago to Hong Kong would be the longest flight I’d ever been on. At 7,793 miles United 895 is number 23 on the list of world’s longest non-stop flights (by distance, time can be shorter for a longer flight depending on winds). It’s also the longest flight in the world operated by a plain old Boeing 747-400 (Qantas has some longer flights with the 747-400ER).

 

I was hoping that we would have to divert for fuel. It is apparently pretty common for them to have to stop off somewhere like Japan or China to top up the tanks and I would love to be able to say that I had been on a flight so long that it had run out of fuel!

 

We didn’t run out of fuel but we were delayed in taking off by an hour because they had to refuel before we left Chicago.

My carefully pre-chosen seat was yet again the best economy class has to offer (right at the back so my window seat only had 1 seat between me and the freedom of the aisle).

 

Because United Airlines suck more than a hooker with an eviction notice and only have main screen entertainment I was in the midflight zombie zone when the movie I wanted to see came on. Therefore I missed most of Rio as I passed out.

 

Luckily I had my iPod to use for my own personal entertainment when I wasn’t semi conscious and was in need of distraction. Never have I needed angry birds more, I even have the Rio version of the game.

With 15.5hrs to fill at least I had the amusement value of the 3 meals I was served.

 

So after we take off and set a course for over the pole I get my first vegan special meal and it has a spherical grain of some sort.

Ok I looked it up just now and apparently it’s a pasta called Israeli couscous. It came with a chickpea and sweet potato curry that even had a slice of peach on top. There was German rye bread, salad and hey vegan cookies!

 

Then I got my snack. Oh vegan cookies again, the exact same package, guess they bought them in bulk.

Oh and what is this in my sandwich? Oh its some lettuce and the Israeli couscous again, just stuck in half a pita bread!

Um ok so I not saying this isn’t something I might try if I opened the fridge when I hadn’t been shopping and this was all there was. But this is supposed to be a professional catering operation right? Not my experimental ghetto vegan kitchen.

 

Meal number three in the theme of repeating past meal components there was some more rye bread.

But at least Israeli couscous did not feature anywhere in the main dish. It was baked fruit with a side of fruit sauce (apple).

I’m not gonna lie, I ate it and I liked it.

Lazy cow syndrome

So this viral video is getting the hits lately.

 

It is the story of Doreen a “benefit scrounger”

I usually have a sense of humour but something about this triggers something in me.

Guess it comes from my life experience as after my parents split my sisters and I were raised by a mother on benefits.

 

Now I realise that this is a mockumentary and it is from Britain, while when I was living in poverty it was on the other side of the world. But still I just think that this reinforces myths about what life is like.

For example the whole thing about the government paying for houses, cars and sky TV, yeah right.

We were so poor that we didn’t even have a phone.

This literally could have killed me.

 

I don’t mean being a teen and unable to organise a social life.

When I was sixteen, I was home alone and had an accident. I fell and cut my leg on some glass.

With no phone I just waited until everyone came home and my mother used the neighbour’s phone. Fifteen stitches and I was fine.

But what if my injury was more serious? I know often people do the “what if” and it’s something that would never happen. But I don’t think it is that wild to imagine that the glass could have cut an artery. Then unable to summon help I would have died that day.

 

While the video says that Doreen just doesn’t want to work. I suspect that the reality of the situation for real women struggling as single mothers is that even if they do want to work did the likelihood of getting a job is slim. Critics seem to think that there are jobs out there for everyone but the reality is that there is not. Especially with that little thing called a recession going on.

Plus there is the issue of childcare which if available is often so expensive that it would cost more that she would earn.

 

This video just perpetuates the negative image of beneficiaries and creates a public hatred towards these people based on jealousy of perceived advantages that in reality they do not receive.

But why let little things like the truth get in the way of a good story?

Hell isn’t it more fun to imagine these women as slutty druggy lazy chavs who spend the rest of their spare time swimming thru piles of government provided cash like Scrooge McDuck.

 

My feelings after watching the video also reminded me of a posting I recently saw on Facebook:

OK..SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT ... If you cross the North Korean border illegally, you get 12 yrs. hard labor. If you cross the Afghanistan border illegally, you get shot. Two Americans just got eight years… for crossing the Iranian border. If you cross the Australian Border illegally you get a job, a drivers license, food stamps, a place to live, health care, housing & child benefits, education, & a tax free business for 7 yrs ...No wonder we are a country in debt... RE-POST if you agree

 

I pointed out that it looked like it was written for Americans and then just changed to Australia and it wasn’t even true in the USA.

 

But thinking about it more and really considering the issue I then have to ask, what is this posting saying? That countries should try to emulate the evil and be like those with brutal barbaric regimes?

That treating people poorly is the way to go?

Call me a bleeding heart liberal but I would honestly rather have my tax dollars going to helping desperate people than to start shooting them if they dare to cross my country’s borders.

 

To sum it up I’m just annoyed at things like these viral videos and posts creating more hatred for people in the lowest socioeconomic groups. These are not people living in luxury, they are people for whom every day is a struggle.

But why let facts get in the way of opinions? As it seems to me that the real syndrome is the problem of people choosing to believe things that help them to hate others.

 

Perhaps it should be called ‘I resent others I perceive to be getting an easy ride even if they aren’t syndrome’. Or ‘I’m too lazy to actually really think about an issue properly syndrome’.

It saddens me that the world seems to be awash in the output of a plague of diseased minds attempting to convince others (and I would say succeeding) to cast scorn upon those less fortunate than themselves.

Planes trains and autocracy

I finally left Malaysia.

Commencing my random trip to the other side of the world, late one night on a train heading from Kuala Lumpur to Singapore.

I had a sleeper berth but the aircon was quite cold, it was rocking and despite the privacy curtain it was rather light. Thus it was difficult to sleep.

 

The toilet appeared (I didn’t investigate too closely) to be a hole in the floor. As I don’t have my balance and aim for squat toilets at the best of times I did not trust myself to shake my lettuce neatly on a shuddering train and there were signs not to use the toilets when the train was stopped at stations. Thus I had to hold it till we stopped for Singapore immigration. Thankfully it being Singapore they had a lovely spotlessly clean facility.

 

My train terminated its journey at The Old Keppel Street Train Station. I was glad to get to go there before it closed down. I wasn’t the only one who got off the train and started taking photos.

 

I went to see the Newton Hawker Centre as the internet had told me it opened at 9am. But it wasn’t too active when I was there so I just had a drink.

I had time to check out some packing cubes at The Planet Traveller in the Paragon (still obsessed). But in the end decided that I would see what the options are like in the states so didn’t buy any.

 

I then caught the MRT to the airport.

Yes it was a quick visit to Singapore. My train arrived at 9am in the morning and I was flying out at 2pm in the afternoon.

I was flying Tiger Air so had to catch the free shuttle bus to the budget terminal at Changi.

It wasn’t so bad, but my opinion may be influenced by the fact that it had free internet terminals.

 

I was a little worried that my carry on sized bag may have been too heavy.

So I simply smiled sweetly at the woman checking me in and asked for a window seat. My great powers of distraction obviously worked as she didn’t try to weigh my bag at all.

The flight was uneventful and I entertained myself by surreptitiously examining the shirt of the guy sitting next to me that was mismatched with 3 pockets (sadly for you I didn’t manage to snap a sneaky photo).

 

In Hong Kong I was supposed to pick up some stuff from Chuck. He had upset me by telling me he had (living up to his codename) chucked it out. He was lying to annoy me (seriously he is such a jerk sometimes).

So we had arranged that I would collect my stuff from his new apartment.

Thus I slepped myself and all my stuff up the midlevels and found the building.

Only to discover that Chuck the stupid ass had not left the package with his doorman as he was supposed to as was off catching a plane to the Philippines and unable to fix the problems he had created for me.

I was not happy at all.

 

I found a cheap place to spend the night in TST and then headed back to the airport the next morning.

I had bought a 24hr pass for the MTR and it had some time left on it so I tried to convince the people working at the info desk that they should pass it on to some poor newly arrived passenger.

But they were as helpful as Chuck aka not very at all.

 

I admit that while standing in line to check in for my United Airlines flight the song that was stuck in my head just happened to be United Breaks Guitars.

I got to use the priority line which made me feel special.

I wanted to be bumped (for fun and profit) but alas there was no bumping happening for me that day.

 

On the train to my gate I met Jim, the captain of my flight. We chatted and he seemed very nice.

Hong Kong is a very good airport. There is free wifi and the gate had seats with sockets to charge my electronics.

I would need them as my flight to Chicago was an endurance test on a United Airlines Boeing 747-400 with only main screen entertainment.

I’d wondered what would get me first terminal boredom or DVT, as I had also originally been assigned a middle seat.

 

Luckily I kept checking the website obsessively and when a better seat opened up I jumped on it.

I ended up with an awesome seat selection. Right at the back (safest place, planes don’t back into mountains) where the fuselage narrows so it is only two abreast and my favourite of a window seat.

 

When I boarded the flight I discovered someone sitting in my seat (she had swapped with a guy on the other side of the aircraft). But the flight attendant was nice and sorted it out. I ended up in the row in front and it was actually better as the row in front of me had 3 seats so I got an extra seatback pocket. Plus the gap between my seat and the fuselage was widest so I had a good personal storage space.

 

I asked the flight attendant what the planes registration number was (yes I am geeky that way) he said he would ask the captain and I was all “Oh Jim! Yeah I chatted to him earlier...”

 

My flight may not have had personal screens but it did have a baby right in front of me.

And there was the entertainment of reading the inflight magazine and seeing that they had spelt the name of good old Palmerston North wrong. (I’m surprised it even made it onto the map).

 

I was sitting next to a priest.

For lunch I was served pasta (undercooked and crunchy) so I got to tell him about being a Pastafarian. I am sure he appreciated it.

 

Since I always get a special meal I have been comparing the VGML with the standard option.

For a snack everyone else got the grossest crackers ever. They contained fish oil and egg shell powder. Seriously WTF? It is like they went now what is the cheapest filler we can get?

But they also got cake and a banana.

My vegan snack was a very tasty wrap. But it was small and I didn’t understand why I didn’t get a banana. Fruit is vegan dammit!

 

I asked my lovely flight attendant and he said they had some extra bananas. He went to find one but couldn’t so got me some potato chips from business class.

Then a little later he located a banana and brought me that too.

(I actually sent an email to United to say how great I thought he was).

 

When another flight attendant came around offering drinks I asked for a tomato juice. She looked at me funny and was all do you mean toMAYto.

America may be a different world...

 

I did really like that on United Airlines they have channel nine so I was listening to the pilots talk to ATC for our approach and landing. I heard our flight be instructed to turn and told my priestly neighbour that we were about to turn. Then we did. Bet he thought I was psychic.

It was pretty cool listening and there was another aircraft flying parallel to us to I had something awesome to look at as well.

It’s funny that I had applied for a new ESTA (visa waiver thing) just before they started charging for it. Not thinking I would use it but figuring I should while it was still free. And now here I was entering the USA on that free ESTA.

I got stamped into the country by a gruff agent who barked at me “why are you here”. Luckily my answer that I was visiting a friend was deemed acceptable.

It took me approximately 53 hours but I had come to America.

Just the ticket, please!

So Rosie my American friend invited me to visit her in her homeland and the idea just grew and grew until before I knew it I found myself up one night at a cafe in Malaysia, trying to use their lame wifi to book a flight to the other side of the world.

 

There are no direct flights between Kuala Lumpur and Chicago so I had a lot of researching to do on the various routes.

Kayak became my new favourite website as I scoured the web for that elusive cheap fare.

I considered using the Emirates options voucher that I got when I was bumped. But with the strangeness of the airline pricing system it seemed that it would end up more expensive using it.

 

I found a flight on United Airlines that while more than I wanted to pay of course was the cheapest option I could find.

I sent Rosie a message for reassurance that I really wanted to book it.

The facebook message system picked this worst possible time to stop working and I could send messages but not see them and then I had to check my email to read the replies.

 

So with Rosie saying do it I pushed the button on booking the United trip.

And despite my not having an American address to enter and having to cross my fingers while it processed hoping it would work anyway, it thankfully successfully got me a seat on a Boeing going to the windy city.

 

I’d found a cheap flight from Singapore to Hong Kong to catch the United flight.

But despite my bank having no problem at all with me spending £700 just minutes before, they stopped my card for the less than £70 transaction with Tiger Airways.

 

It was a special fare, last day of the sale and as I desperately tried to phone my bank with the slow internet connection the clock ticked past midnight.

It worked out in the end but I did mutter how much I hated my bank a lot in this tense time.

I should not be so stressed out simply trying to buy a couple of airline tickets!

 

 

Rosie had to go out and so she didn’t even know that it had finally worked and I had the tickets until she was able to check online later.

When she did find out she was thrilled that I was coming to town. I was so excited about my impending journey I couldn’t sleep that night.

And it was impending imminently. I had booked a flight that’s departure was only one week away.

 

When I was booking I thought hey I haven’t seen a movie in awhile, but I’ll get to see more than a few with the long flight time (it is one of the longest nonstop flights in the world).

It wasn’t until after I had booked my ticket that I checked United Airline’s website to see what movie options they had and made a shocking and terrible discovery.

Their 747s don’t have personal seat back screens so I was going to be stuck for fourteen and a half hours with only main screen entertainment.

In a middle seat.