Great Adventures of a Green Goddess

Just a lil bit country

I must admit to wondering what kind of place I’d ended up in the day I went to the local Farmer's Market and saw not one but two separate people playing the accordion (no other instruments were seen being played). Had I randomly and accidentally entered The Polka Zone???

 

Although admittedly this was a one off and mostly my experience despite being in the northern Midwestern state of Wisconsin was of country music. I had always thought of this as more of a southern states thing. As the south is Dixie because it is below the Mason Dixon line (that bit that separates us from the bible belt) and I like The Dixie Chicks.

Rosie had her car radio set to play country music. So every time we were cruising around it was to songs by Brad Paisley, Tim McGraw and the like.

I ended up downloading some of their music and now every time I listen to it I am reminded of hanging out in America with Rosie.

I have great memories, like the time when diving around we’d often passed the same barn. I told Rosie we should give it a name and she came up with the perfect name: Barney!

 

She also liked blue collar comedians like Bill Engvall and the ventriloquist Jeff Dunham. My favourite character was José the Jalapeno on a Stick but Achmed the Dead Terrorist is pretty funny too.

What I do know is that I like it when Rosie gets drunk (she likes to get drunk and cook days) with her favourite alcohol named Captain which she says tastes like cake. She will talk southern and make me happy by quoting trash talkin turleen. 

 

 

 

But my real country experience was when we went up nort as they call it. I wondered if it was like down south but without the banjos...

I must admit that I’ve never seen Deliverance and I probably should have to complete my education in the way of the American wilderness dweller.

 

Before we left for some northern exposure I took the dog for a walk. She dragged me around the house and jumped in the car. She did not want to be left behind! She didn’t have to worry, she was coming with us.

 

I really liked this husky, as I would call her a hairball with a bark. Seriously when brushing her we would stop when she got sick of it, not when she ran out of hair. She would sing along to squeaky deaky and when she got it in to her head that I was taking her out she would follow me around until I walked her.

There was a crime when in a doggy ducknapping she came into my room and took Devil Duckie but we rescued my travel mascot before any harm was done.

 

The wolf (she looks like a wolf but she’s really a dork) had a fish toy and she would shake it so much it fell apart.

I sewed it up for her one day and she carefully watched me performing the operation wanting her fishy back.

My other crafting in the country was making an iPod cover for Rosie. I love the eco felt and the craft stores in America have a fine selection.

Rosie requested a super Mario cover as she has a Nintendo NES she likes to play.

We went with a controller on one side and a fire flower on the other.

 

 

Anyway back to the backwoods.

We set off me, Rosie, her 9yr old niece (let’s call her Daisy) and the dog.

We passed Port Washington and I was all hey that’s the place from Step by Step, because I am cool enough to remember lame 90’s sitcoms.

For lunch we stopped in Green Bay, I didn’t see much of it but I know that the football team is called the Packers and they wanted to bus kids from there to Rome Wisconsin in an episode of Picket Fences which was a good 90’s American show. I love how America is full of places from the TV shows of my youth.

 

Our final destination was a place called Sturgeon Bay in the weirdly named Door County. It is the bit of Wisconsin that sticks out into the lake so maybe it should be Thumb County? Although I think Michigan has claimed looking like a mitten status. Seriously, I didn’t make this up!

 

Rosie’s family’s shack is apparently worth 5 thousand dollars and the lake front land half a million!

After settling in we went for a walk along the pier which is concrete and by a lighthouse and canal.

We looked at the lake. It was rather cold that day and there were big waves. The lake is huge! I couldn’t see the other side. I guess they don’t call it a great lake for nothing.

 

With the weather cold and it getting dark we went back to the cabin and got a fire going.

We played games Monopoly, Game of Life, Skip Do and Clue then watched a DVD (Despicable Me).

For dinner I ate veggie burgers. Rosie and Daisy ate meaty stuff and then made the American camping classic known as s’mores. Daisy managed to burn her finger on the melted marshmallow that is put with chocolate between a couple of crackers.

 

When it was beddy byes time, I slept on a pull out sofa bed beside the fire.

During the night it got very hot from the fire so I opened the door to let in some cool air. Then the fire went out and I had to get up to close the door as the temperature inside dropped during the early hours.

 

We were only spending a single night so after breakfast we cleaned up the place and headed back.

We stopped for lunch in a place called Sheboygan. It’s just fun to say! Oh and it apparently has a spaceport, strange but true fact I looked up online just now.

 

I didn’t manage to make it to The American Club in Kohler which is somewhere nearby. Yes Kohler as in the bathroom fixtures. That’s where the factory is and the hotel which is listed in 1000 Places to See Before You Die and apparently has really nice bathrooms.

Shame we didn’t have the masses of cash needed to stay there.

 

And that concludes my account of my short venture into the backwoods of Wisconsin. It was a pleasant experience and I have not and don’t expect to suffer any future nightmares from it (I read the Deliverance wiki...)

 

Lastly I just want to add that my only other country thing was done safely back at Rosie’s house and was online.

It was hunting which is a very redneck thing to do, but being a vegan I found the perfect game Tofu Hunter.

I love killing wild tofu with high powered weapons, especially the trophy bucks!

Touched by Apple, Played with by play.com

So I finally got myself an iPod.

My pretty bestowed on me by the gods of Cupertino is a 3^rd generation 32GB iPod touch to be exact.

I joined the iPod generation and became Steve Job’s bitch only a decade after they first came out. Yeah I’m not much of an early adopter.

And since the 4^th generation has come out I don’t know how I can even show my apple fangirl face anymore with this out of fashion obsolete piece of technology.

Ok seriously I still love this thing. It is a great gadget!

 

It was Hunnybunny who first put the idea of getting an iPod touch into my head. He was drooling over them and I began to think I would like one too. Not just to make him jealous I swear!

So then I got a bonus at work that just happened to be exactly enough to cover the cost and decided that it could be my birthday pressie to myself.

 

I looked at them in the Regent Street London Apple store but ended up getting Chuck to buy it from the Hong Kong online Apple store (he gets a discount) and bring it to me. I saved £50 that way (would have been even more if the stupid exchange rate hadn’t changed).

 

As it came from an Apple store I could get free engraving and admittedly I rather obsessed about the possibilities.

I found a bunch of funny suggestions online such as:

Made by some sort of Fruit Company

Apple mind control device

10000 stolen songs inside

I’m a bad apple

 

My favourite idea was to quote to Bender from Futurama’s ‘Bite my shiny metal ass’.

But Apple wouldn’t let me have that. Inappropriate message text it claimed. There is censorship in the permitted engravings. The deity of the Apple cult has decreed that we must not use the ass (I guess it is a lot like the Christians who I used to torment when they came knocking on my door…). 

 

I considered a variation posterior/behind??? But it just wasn’t the same.

I ended up going with a song from The Rocky Horror Picture Show

‘Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty’.

It’s an iPod so a song is appropriate (no matter how inappropriate the lyrics) and it was an iPod touch so a song about touching and getting dirty. Perfect!

 

I now needed to protect my new baby.

I had seen iPod/iPhone covers online I thought were cool. But I realised that I could just make then myself.

Being an eco conscious vegan I had heard about felt made from recycled plastic bottles. I my brief search with Mr Google for stockists in England didn’t find any. So I just bought some coloured sheets of synthetic felt from eBay.

I was overjoyed when it arrived and turned out to be the Kunin Ecospun felt I had wanted.

 

I got the ideas of what I wanted to make online and just adapted them.

I didn’t know how to embroider so I read up on how to do it on the internet and even watched YouTube videos on how to backstitch. Thanks to the internets I was now able to make the covers.

I made the game boy cover first and then with that experience it was easier to make the iSketch Etch A Sketch and the classic iPod covers.

 

The iPod touch turns out to be perfect for travelling. There are apps that are helpful for travel plus games to play, books to read and music or podcasts to listen to when bored. Awesome how much assistance and entertainment can fit in one little shiny shiny tech toy.

 

Here is a list of my top ten favourite apps:

Angry birds and angry birds seasons - I am an official angry birds addict. This Israeli peace process parody video is hilarious.  

Plants vs. zombies - the zombies are coming! I think it has a good vegan message on the power of plants.

Flight control – play air traffic controller, drinking problem encouraged with a refreshing beverage offered when you get a high score.

Aargon – who knew reflecting laser beams could be so fun or addictive?

Trip it – you can put all your travel plans in one place and give your trips fun names. 

Stanza, iBooks and Kindle - you can mix it up with your choice of eBook reader.  

Lastminute.com Spanish - it will show you the translation and also has audio for those essential phrases such as “I’ll show you my white bits if you show me yours” 

Xe - I love that you can set a bunch of different currencies to compare and it works offline, resetting the correct values when you have wifi. You can pull it out, look at the rate and then say wow that is so expensive! While the vendor in some third world country wonders if the device you are viewing it on cost more than they make in a year…

VegOut – in the beginning this wasn’t too good on the iPod touch as it didn’t work without wifi. Luckily they listened to feedback and updated it so you can now set favourites that can be looked at offline when you are out and about and hungry.

Vegan soundboard - because sometimes it is just too much effort to say all those pretentious vegan phrases yourself.

 

Really the only bad thing about this little beauty is that it doesn’t fit the iGoatse case I coveted.

Mine has a black and white rebel touch skeleton (Yes a case and a cover to keep my precious safe).

I had problems with play.com getting it.

I placed my order online and it was not in stock but advised it usually shipped in ten days.

Yeah ten days my ass! On what planet? Venus???

 

When I called I was told that if I cancelled my order and reordered the same item, then it should clear any glitches in the system and I would receive the item. Oh how they liked to play with me as I just got the same result as the first time. No case was coming my way.

When I emailed to ask for an update on availability with an answer that wasn’t just keep waiting. They replied to keep waiting!

 

I understand that a company can run out of items but what annoys me is that the item has always remained for sale on the website stating that it is usually dispatched within 10 days.

If you do not have the item I think that it should be removed it from sale, then advise those that have ordered it that you are just screwing with them and offer an acceptable alternative.

To just be kept hanging on for months is very frustrating.

I vented my frustration by writing emails:

 

Dear customer support team

In regards to our correspondence I am left with the feeling that your standards of service leave much to be desired.

I see that that you new chief executive John Perkins said: "Play.com has established itself as one of the top online retailing brands in the UK and Europe by putting the customer at the center of everything it does. There are few companies that are so committed to the customer, and I am looking forward to building on the company's success so far and leading the talented Play.com team."

I do not feel that you response has shown a commitment to customer service that Mr Perkins would be proud of.

I would like to tell him about my experience myself, could you please provide me with his email address?

If you are unable to do this, could you forward my email to him as I would love to receive Mr Perkins response to my complaints about the fact that:

1) An item was advertised for sale with a usual shipping time of ten days when I have still not received it after 2 months

2) When I asked not to be left hanging on about when I would receive the item the first email response I got told me to just keep waiting.

3) After realising I would probably never receive my preferred item, when I asked for a very small discount on an alternative for the inconvenience and disappointment that the company has caused me I was denied this small token of customer service.

I have given your company many opportunities to put it right and now I do not feel that the company is as committed to customers like me as Mr Perkins thinks it should be.

 

Yeah unsurprisingly Mr Perkins did not deign to offer me his excuses on what a total liars he and his company are.

Thus I got to write one final email:

 

Dear customer support team

I have now cancelled my order.

Quoting your legal status in the matter does nothing to help when the problem is not with the legality of what your company did but how you handled it to make the situation better for the customer.

I am very displeased with the customer service experience I have had and I don’t feel that my custom was valued at all.

It is a shame that your company does not realise that it’s easier to keep loyal customers than gain new customers.

Now I shall now commence telling everyone about my bad experience with play.com as the old saying is that one happy customer tells 3 friends (on average), one unhappy customer tells 10.

You should also remember that behind every complaint hide another 99 people who didn’t feel like hanging around to tell you the very same thing. So listening to one person’s problems has the potential to fix a lot.

Please take a moment to consider this before you hit the delete button on this email.

 

Yeah I am sure they just deleted it, but it felt so good to send it.

 

P.S I ordered the SwitchEasy case on eBay and it arrived the next day.

Euston we have a problem

I’m a girl that loves the tube!

The London underground that is.

Sure it can be hot, crowded and expensive. But it’s just so easy!

 

Unlike the bus you don’t have to worry about knowing which is your stop. They are clearly named. Although some are named better than others.

Everyone new arrival must giggle at the end of the Piccadilly line being called Cockfosters (I so want to go there with a can of fosters and take dodgy photos).

 

I enjoyed the very British way they remind you to mind the gap between the train and the platform.

Before I moved to London I had heard of the game Mornington Crescent and I would think of it every time I passed the station (even though it is not even a real game).

 

I never had any terror on the train. Tedium on long journeys was a greater risk. To counter it, I liked how people left the free papers onboard or I’d try pulling out a book to read.

But then sometimes this would result in that queasy feeling. Yes Euston we have problem and it is that I tend to get motion sickness

Luckily I never hurled chunks on the train. 

 

Other problems were encountered too. I have tried to catch the tube when it was so crowded I couldn’t get on until the third train came along (and then someone pulled the emergency alarm).

 

In the world of London transport the world is your oyster card. Giselle gave me one when I arrived at Heathrow and I used it to take the Piccadilly line into the city.

One day I couldn’t find it, lost or sticky fingers at the hostel?

I had registered it online so I called them up but they couldn’t tell me if it had been used.

I did get the amount on it thou so loaded it on a new card and put it in a nifty new purple holder I got free at a travel show. Then I got handed a shiny silver one free outside a tube station one day.

I do like the holders with the tube map on them.

 

The tube map is a design classic. Oh how I love thee.

When I went to the transport museum gift shop I was impressed by how many different and varied things they could stick it on.

But you don’t have to go to a specialized place.

There are tube souvenirs for sale all over the city and my favorite is the socks with a tube map printed on them. Yes tube socks! I totally want them.

My award for tackiest souvenir (always a coveted prize) goes to the mind the gap G-string.

 

Alternative versions of the tube map have been made.

I like this one that show how much is actually underground.

Or this one that shows the real route of the lines.

The points of interest map that changes the station names to what is located there.

But the best ones are just funny like this or wonderfully rude. 

There are a few that change the names to different themes like The Undergrub map which changes the names to food items.

You are not supposed to talk to or even make eye contact with anyone on the tube. It was just an unwritten rule that everyone followed but some wag online made these signs.

 

Real ads can remind you that there is probably no god. Always a good thing to remember when packing in a carriage that is speeding along a tunnel deep underground with strangers who may have explosives in their backpacks.

 

But the best fake ad is this underground undertaker one from fail blog.

 

I set a personal a goal to travel on every underground line. The only one I have left to try is the Waterloo and City Line which is the shortest one.

I’m not quite as keen as some who go to every station.

 

I heard that there is a challenge in New York City when people ride the subway thru every station, not sure if it has been done without pants…

Here the Brits, well ok probably more the Aussies (on Australia day I saw so many people dressed up on the tube) do a circle line pub crawl. Although this has probably been made more less fun since drinking got banned on board (I guess there is still the monopoly board pub crawl…).