Great Adventures of a Green Goddess

Grounded

I recently read the book Grounded by Seth Stevenson. The premise of the book is that the author and his girlfriend attempt to travel around the world without flying.

 

While I personally love flying I would also like to circumnavigate the globe without leaving its surface. I have long held the dream of doing a world cruise .This being the easy way of doing this kind of trip.

But reading this did make me want to try it the harder way too.

 

Before I picked up this book I’d had an idea of a long overland trip.

I want to catch the Trans Siberian train from Russia to China via Mongolia. Then travel across China to Tibet (there is a train that does this route now). I would then visit Bhutan, Nepal etc before travelling around India.

I haven’t looked into the feasibility of this trip in regards to border crossings, visas and the best time of year to be in each place. (The trouble with travelling between hot and cold places is the extra clothes you need to pack. If I go to a hot place I would rather take only my smaller carry on sized pack).

 

I really enjoyed reading this book so I was actually rather surprised when I read the reviews on Amazon and found so many of them to be negative.

Yes I did think when reading the book that they didn’t spend much time in each place and that if I’d done it I would have spent longer exploring every destination.  But I just thought hey to each their own if that’s the way they want to travel it’s their trip.

Plus being a fan of snark I liked their comments about the people they encountered along the way. I laughed out loud at some of their quips.

 

I was not disappointed that the book did not go into much detail about all the places they visited. I am sure there are many books that do and if that’s what you want it can’t be hard to find one.

But this book focused on the actual journey of how hard it can be to circumnavigate the globe without leaving the ground and I liked that the fast pace of the book about their slow trip made this a quick easy read.

The book wasn’t bogged down with details but it still had some interesting facts about things like the development of container shipping.

 

Somewhat ironically the uncomplicated writing in this book means that this would be a good book to read on a long flight.

Hong Kong Phooey

To get into Hong Kong officially I needed to have an onward ticket. A very annoy rule for those of us who like to travel around the world one way with no set plans.

My solution was to convince Chuck to buy me a fully refundable ticket for a flight out. He booked one on Air Canada as they didn’t charge a refund fee and as he had a local Hong Kong credit card he wouldn’t get those nasty international fees that plague me so often.

 

I only managed to get Chuck to do this by pointing out what he would miss out on if I was denied entry into the country (He is always all about ‘what’s in it for me?’).

Of course after going to all this trouble no one asked me about an onward flight at all!

But the ticket was to Vancouver and I entertained the lovely thoughts that if I killed Chuck before he refunded it then I could actually use it (I could go visit my little friend The Gherkin!).

 

Oh yes the urge to kill did rise rapidly as he is very annoying.

For example he started on his anti-veganism ranting and even told me that I should ultimately just kill myself so that I had no negative effect on the world at all.  

I mostly just ignored him and used the octopus card he gave me to pay for vegan food at Loving Hut (I can confirm that the supreme master is as strange as ever).

 

It is pretty nifty that the octopus travel card is not only used to pay for public transport (8 forms hence the name) but you can pay for stuff at convenience stores, restaurants etc. Chuck had his personalised so he can use it to access his building.  It’s the way of the future man and I like it.

 

Less futuristic are the old fashioned superstitions.

In Hong Kong the number four sounds like death in Chinese or something so they try to avoid it. Thus the apartment I was staying in was on the 37^th floor, but not really as the numbers started at 7 and then skipped every number with a 4 in it.

Still it was pretty far up to be when I felt an earthquake. It was weird and they are apparently quite rare here.

It was also a heck of a long way if I fell out the window which I was worried about when I hung out the laundry. Chuck was all don’t be ridiculous you are not going to fall it is fine. Then after I told myself to suck it up bitch and did it, he admitted that he never uses the outside line!

 

The apartment building is in a big mall complex. Staying pretty much in a mall reminds me of a book I read that was set in a future where there were huge malls with apartments and mall people who just never ever left the mall (This Place Has No Atmosphere by Paula Danziger for those that are curious).

 

While I did leave I did feel like I didn’t do that much touristy stuff.

One night I caught a Star Ferry (the appropriately named Night Star) across the harbour. The ferry ticket costs around HK$2.50(US32cents) for the upper deck (and its even less for the lower) so it is a bargain for the view and experience of crossing Hong Kong harbour.

I was a little sad I didn’t see any of the traditional Chinese junk boats but I did like the passing cruise ship.  

 

On the Tsim Sha Tsui (which I totally can’t pronounce, so like everyone else I just call it TST) side I went to the viewing area and watched the famous skyline light show.

This involves buildings on both sides of the harbour the audio which on the night I was there was helpfully in English, introduced each building that participates and then the lights show commences. Lights are shone into the sky, the buildings dazzle and it is all set to music.

My photo doesn’t do it justice so check out a video someone helpfully put on YouTube

 

From there I then walked along The Avenue of Stars which is like the Hollywood Walk of Fame except I hadn’t heard of any of the stars honoured.  For the record the funniest name I saw was definitely the one belonging to a Pasty Ho.

 

Another day I went to the Man Mo Temple. It was free to go inside but it was so smoky that it hurt my eyes. This was due to the burning of the incense that hangs in big coils from the ceiling inside so I didn’t stay too long.

 

I did manage to cross off one of the main things on my tourist to do list when I went up Victoria Peak on the tram.

I caught a ferry (Meridian Star) across the harbour and then followed the signs to The Peak Tram. It was even one of the eight transport methods covered by my octopus card.

The tram track really is steep (I did the trip back down standing up and leaning against the railing and it was like my own little mini re-enactment of when the ship went down in Titanic).

 

The view from the top is good and would have been even better if it wasn’t so hazy due to the smog which is pretty much a constant in this city. But still Victoria Peak impressively presented me with a nice vision of the sun setting over the water.

I then went back into the wok shaped Peak Tower (it is where the tram station is) and went up its many escalators.

On the way I liked that they had a Mouth of Truth fortune telling machine, I had seen the real thing in Rome and now I could learn my fate from the fake.

I went as high as I could in the tower before having to pay to go to the viewing deck. Not going to waste my cash to see skyscrapers in the mist (plus it’s not like I couldn’t see the same view slightly lower down for free).

 

The reason I was in Hong Kong was that I’d offered help Chuck search for a new apartment to buy. He also had me running random errands for him. He would call the errands his bitch tasks and it involved things like buying a certain type and dosage size of antibiotics for his slutty manwhore friend. I didn’t sign up to be turned into some kind of a drugstore cowgirl!

 

But the main task was finding the apartment and that proved to be an impossible mission.

Chuck kept telling me that I just had to push the real estate agents and they would come up with apartments that had the location, condition and all the features he wanted plus all of course at the low price he wanted to pay.

So I tried being hard on them but being a bitch unsurprisingly didn’t make them magically pull these perfect places out of their asses like Chuck seemed to think it would. It just made me feel bad.

It also didn’t help that Chuck kept changing his requirements …

 

My incentive for doing this (apart from just helping out a friend) was that Chuck had promised to buy me a nice shiny new tech toy if I found his new apartment. I really needed a netbook as I was sick of travelling around with my heavy laptop.

 

Well the netbook prize was never won and I feel that Chuck pretty much prevented that himself with the way he acted.

When I would try to tell him about a place I had inspected he would have a go at me as I was talking to him. This of course resulted in just making me not want to talk at all.

An example of what a jerk Chuck can be was when I told him about one place I’d looked at that seemed pretty good to me. He was all why did you look there? That location is not what I want! You suck... Blah blah blah...

The apartment he ended up buying (after I left) was located in this exact area.

 

Seriously I don’t know how I managed to live with him for three weeks without going completely crazy or inflicting serious damage to his over inflated ego or undersized delicate appendages.

Yeah I guess I am still a little bitter but I don’t regret going to Hong Kong.

 

Just wandering around the city I saw interesting sights.

Such as the sign on one street warning hobbits of the clearance height! I didn’t even know they inhabited this city. I would have thought this would be more likely back home in NZ due to the whole Lord of the Rings thing (which I still haven’t seen).

 

I loved seeing a tree clinging to life by grabbing on with all its mighty roots to a brick wall in the middle of the city. The vertical tenacity was impressive.

 

Then there was the incident in Wan Chai with a crane that had had a bit of an oopsie and fallen over. Not something I get to see everyday...

Finally I will admit that yes I did walk around the city singing Hong Kong Phooey number one super guy.

Attack of the blonde in the boonies of Sweden

I caught a bus to Sweden to visit my old flatmate. Hmm Swedes are like turnips. I think I she shall now be known as Tina Turnip.

 

The interesting thing about buses in Sweden is that people actually use the onboard toilet. Like everyone does. Most places you go eww so tiny and icky I will just wait till we get to the destination.

In Scandinavia they charge you many kroner to use the bus station toilets. But on the bus is free to pee…

 

The bus also has free wifi. This sounds good until I realise that it is reading and remember with the familiar and much dreaded queasy feeling that reading on a bus gives me motion sickness.

 

Being a student, Tina lives in a university town. Well more accurately her place is out in the countryside. In a frightening house, seriously it was like something straight out of a scary movie.

We called it the ex dental house of horror and doom!

Yes really the house was a formerly dental surgery and creepy as all hell. It had a strange design and was really old and dusty with rooms of old furniture and the showers down in the basement (where no one can hear you scream...).

I actually rather enjoyed it for someone who hates horror movies.

I was just waiting to be possessed by the evil spirits of the house. Cue dramatic music and the buzz of a dental drill...

But the only effect on me was that I kept sneezing. I wondered if it was the dust or if I was developing an allergy to blondes.

 

As I had never been to one I thought it was cool that my first trip to an IKEA was in Sweden. It was so exciting to me that I made a pilgrimage to an IKEA store in its homeland.

I was fascinated by the arrows on the floor to follow and the paper, tape measures and pencils available.

There was also food and they had a big book of ingredients so we could find the vegan stuff.

I kept a lookout for the cookbook with the artfully photographed ingredients but did not see any copies.

 

In the toilets there was a notice on the bathroom door, now I can’t read Swedish so I assume that it is like the safe sex messages they have in other countries.

Look it even has slut in it. I think it says something like ‘Listen friend now that you have decided to become a slut...’

 

At Swedish supermarkets they like to sell stuff in tubes. Said stuff is usually strange smushed seafood. Seriously there were fish eggs. In a tube!

 

Tina bought some candy and offered me a piece saying that it was vegan. Oh sure it was vegan but it was also the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted.

 I should have been warned by the fact that it was black and shaped like a skull. Behold the death of all things holy actually I wish it killed my taste buds at least that would have stopped the horror inflicted upon them.

It was salt liquorice. I cannot describe how bad it tasted. Worst candy ever!

Tina thought it was hilarious. She said she knew I wouldn’t like it but she didn’t expect me to hate it that much. Apparently my face was quite a picture of distaste.

 

Tina told me I was a huge failure in the kitchen for not breaking the spaghetti before putting it in the boiling water. Shock horror scandal I am a bad wench.

Sorry but I think I tend to do better than The Swedish Chef!

Others reassured me that only brutish people break the spaghetti first. But Tina told me that she was going to mention me and my failure in the kitchen to the Swedish speaking world.

 

One day Tina’s friend came over and they go ready to go out to a university function together.

Therefore there was a time when I was in the room with two blondes in their underwear and all I could think was ‘Yeah this is what I thought Sweden would be like!’

 

Another night I almost got lesbian raped.

A friend of Tina’s flatmate was over and they were in the process of getting drunk. I’m gonna call her Inga as I feel should have at least one Inga from Sweden on here.

On a related side note I did not meet any Svens. Despite my long held desire to find one.

So anyway Inga made me an origami water lily flower.

She then jumped me on the bed like she was going to have her lesbian way with me.

She was a fun drunk.

But in the end no delicate flowers were violated.

 

Leaving I was annoyed to discover that the buses don’t go to the airport on Sundays and I was of course leaving on a Sunday.

I was not happy about having to spend a chunk of SEK on a taxi to the flygplaten.

It was a tiny airport and I was the only passenger there when I arrived and not many more turned up for the flight to the big city.

Touched by Apple, Played with by play.com

So I finally got myself an iPod.

My pretty bestowed on me by the gods of Cupertino is a 3^rd generation 32GB iPod touch to be exact.

I joined the iPod generation and became Steve Job’s bitch only a decade after they first came out. Yeah I’m not much of an early adopter.

And since the 4^th generation has come out I don’t know how I can even show my apple fangirl face anymore with this out of fashion obsolete piece of technology.

Ok seriously I still love this thing. It is a great gadget!

 

It was Hunnybunny who first put the idea of getting an iPod touch into my head. He was drooling over them and I began to think I would like one too. Not just to make him jealous I swear!

So then I got a bonus at work that just happened to be exactly enough to cover the cost and decided that it could be my birthday pressie to myself.

 

I looked at them in the Regent Street London Apple store but ended up getting Chuck to buy it from the Hong Kong online Apple store (he gets a discount) and bring it to me. I saved £50 that way (would have been even more if the stupid exchange rate hadn’t changed).

 

As it came from an Apple store I could get free engraving and admittedly I rather obsessed about the possibilities.

I found a bunch of funny suggestions online such as:

Made by some sort of Fruit Company

Apple mind control device

10000 stolen songs inside

I’m a bad apple

 

My favourite idea was to quote to Bender from Futurama’s ‘Bite my shiny metal ass’.

But Apple wouldn’t let me have that. Inappropriate message text it claimed. There is censorship in the permitted engravings. The deity of the Apple cult has decreed that we must not use the ass (I guess it is a lot like the Christians who I used to torment when they came knocking on my door…). 

 

I considered a variation posterior/behind??? But it just wasn’t the same.

I ended up going with a song from The Rocky Horror Picture Show

‘Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty’.

It’s an iPod so a song is appropriate (no matter how inappropriate the lyrics) and it was an iPod touch so a song about touching and getting dirty. Perfect!

 

I now needed to protect my new baby.

I had seen iPod/iPhone covers online I thought were cool. But I realised that I could just make then myself.

Being an eco conscious vegan I had heard about felt made from recycled plastic bottles. I my brief search with Mr Google for stockists in England didn’t find any. So I just bought some coloured sheets of synthetic felt from eBay.

I was overjoyed when it arrived and turned out to be the Kunin Ecospun felt I had wanted.

 

I got the ideas of what I wanted to make online and just adapted them.

I didn’t know how to embroider so I read up on how to do it on the internet and even watched YouTube videos on how to backstitch. Thanks to the internets I was now able to make the covers.

I made the game boy cover first and then with that experience it was easier to make the iSketch Etch A Sketch and the classic iPod covers.

 

The iPod touch turns out to be perfect for travelling. There are apps that are helpful for travel plus games to play, books to read and music or podcasts to listen to when bored. Awesome how much assistance and entertainment can fit in one little shiny shiny tech toy.

 

Here is a list of my top ten favourite apps:

Angry birds and angry birds seasons - I am an official angry birds addict. This Israeli peace process parody video is hilarious.  

Plants vs. zombies - the zombies are coming! I think it has a good vegan message on the power of plants.

Flight control – play air traffic controller, drinking problem encouraged with a refreshing beverage offered when you get a high score.

Aargon – who knew reflecting laser beams could be so fun or addictive?

Trip it – you can put all your travel plans in one place and give your trips fun names. 

Stanza, iBooks and Kindle - you can mix it up with your choice of eBook reader.  

Lastminute.com Spanish - it will show you the translation and also has audio for those essential phrases such as “I’ll show you my white bits if you show me yours” 

Xe - I love that you can set a bunch of different currencies to compare and it works offline, resetting the correct values when you have wifi. You can pull it out, look at the rate and then say wow that is so expensive! While the vendor in some third world country wonders if the device you are viewing it on cost more than they make in a year…

VegOut – in the beginning this wasn’t too good on the iPod touch as it didn’t work without wifi. Luckily they listened to feedback and updated it so you can now set favourites that can be looked at offline when you are out and about and hungry.

Vegan soundboard - because sometimes it is just too much effort to say all those pretentious vegan phrases yourself.

 

Really the only bad thing about this little beauty is that it doesn’t fit the iGoatse case I coveted.

Mine has a black and white rebel touch skeleton (Yes a case and a cover to keep my precious safe).

I had problems with play.com getting it.

I placed my order online and it was not in stock but advised it usually shipped in ten days.

Yeah ten days my ass! On what planet? Venus???

 

When I called I was told that if I cancelled my order and reordered the same item, then it should clear any glitches in the system and I would receive the item. Oh how they liked to play with me as I just got the same result as the first time. No case was coming my way.

When I emailed to ask for an update on availability with an answer that wasn’t just keep waiting. They replied to keep waiting!

 

I understand that a company can run out of items but what annoys me is that the item has always remained for sale on the website stating that it is usually dispatched within 10 days.

If you do not have the item I think that it should be removed it from sale, then advise those that have ordered it that you are just screwing with them and offer an acceptable alternative.

To just be kept hanging on for months is very frustrating.

I vented my frustration by writing emails:

 

Dear customer support team

In regards to our correspondence I am left with the feeling that your standards of service leave much to be desired.

I see that that you new chief executive John Perkins said: "Play.com has established itself as one of the top online retailing brands in the UK and Europe by putting the customer at the center of everything it does. There are few companies that are so committed to the customer, and I am looking forward to building on the company's success so far and leading the talented Play.com team."

I do not feel that you response has shown a commitment to customer service that Mr Perkins would be proud of.

I would like to tell him about my experience myself, could you please provide me with his email address?

If you are unable to do this, could you forward my email to him as I would love to receive Mr Perkins response to my complaints about the fact that:

1) An item was advertised for sale with a usual shipping time of ten days when I have still not received it after 2 months

2) When I asked not to be left hanging on about when I would receive the item the first email response I got told me to just keep waiting.

3) After realising I would probably never receive my preferred item, when I asked for a very small discount on an alternative for the inconvenience and disappointment that the company has caused me I was denied this small token of customer service.

I have given your company many opportunities to put it right and now I do not feel that the company is as committed to customers like me as Mr Perkins thinks it should be.

 

Yeah unsurprisingly Mr Perkins did not deign to offer me his excuses on what a total liars he and his company are.

Thus I got to write one final email:

 

Dear customer support team

I have now cancelled my order.

Quoting your legal status in the matter does nothing to help when the problem is not with the legality of what your company did but how you handled it to make the situation better for the customer.

I am very displeased with the customer service experience I have had and I don’t feel that my custom was valued at all.

It is a shame that your company does not realise that it’s easier to keep loyal customers than gain new customers.

Now I shall now commence telling everyone about my bad experience with play.com as the old saying is that one happy customer tells 3 friends (on average), one unhappy customer tells 10.

You should also remember that behind every complaint hide another 99 people who didn’t feel like hanging around to tell you the very same thing. So listening to one person’s problems has the potential to fix a lot.

Please take a moment to consider this before you hit the delete button on this email.

 

Yeah I am sure they just deleted it, but it felt so good to send it.

 

P.S I ordered the SwitchEasy case on eBay and it arrived the next day.

Istanbul not Constantinople

I arrived in Istanbul early in the morning not so fresh from a night bus journey, and went looking for the hostel that had been recommended to me by the Aussie chick I met in Byblos/Aleppo.

I found the street of hostels and a local guy helped me find the right one. He said that after I had checked in I should come and see him at the hotel where he worked for breakfast.

So I did.

He said just go eat and told me what to say if I was challenged on being there. I wasn’t, and I helped myself to the buffet breakfast. Stolen brekkie does taste all the sweeter. Plus the free food was served up on the roof top terrace of the hotel and so I had a fabulous view of the Bosporus.

 

A good start to the day and food in Istanbul but I was disappointed at the lack of falafel in the city.

I first tried this food of the gods at a Turkish restaurant in NZ and my love of it made me want to visit Turkey. All the Turkish places in NZ have falafel on the menu and it set up some false expectations in me on its availability. Thus it was strange to me when I finally got here to find that they don’t actually have a lot of falafel in Turkey!

 

I remember way back when I was a university student in NZ at a gathering of a couple of my flatmates and their friends. An agreement had been made to meet at the Blue Mosque in Istanbul some years in what was then the future, I don’t think anyone made it to that meeting.

But here I was now!

I didn’t think that it was that blue on the outside. But inside it is supported inside by four huge columns, has pretty windows and a beautifully patterned dome.

 

The mosque of Suleiman the magnificent was being renovated when I visited so I only saw a small area. But as I was sitting on the carpet inside head covered in a scarf and all, I realised I was wearing alcohol print socks. That’s got to be wrong right?

 

One night I was admiring the sign strung up between the minarets of a mosque (it’s called Mahya and done during Ramadan) when I spotted a cat I thought could be a kitler. Yes that’s a cat that looks like Hitler.

 

I was looking forward to seeing the Grand Bazaar but it wasn’t as busy or dirty as I expected. Having seen a few around the Middle East I wasn’t so easily impressed anymore. It was so big and clean it was like a mall.

Although I did see an interesting chess set for sale.

The Spice Bazaar was much more like I was expecting but it was smaller.

 

The Topkapi Palace is huge and had four courts. In the second I was disappointed that the kitchen wasn’t open as I had a sudden desire to see the huge pots and pans.

The third court had a treasury full of shiny things. But it was there were so many people that it was hard to study the treasures.

I really wanted to take a photo of a gorgeous model of The Dome of the Rock since I had really liked the real thing in Jerusalem. But photos weren’t allowed and there was a security guard watching me.

The fourth court had a great view of the water and some lovely tiled pavilions. One was designated for royal circumcisions!

The future sultan’s schlong meets the scalpel for sensitive skin separation in such a pretty summer pavilion.

 

I went back to the second court and paid the extra to see the harem, which is where the family lived and of course the place where the sultan kept his concubines.

It was big, rather maze like and elaborately tiled.

 

An Aussie chick I met in the restaurant she worked at in Goreme recommended that I go and say hi to a guy named Hussein in an Istanbul carpet shop. She even drew me a map of how to find the place.

I went to there but he was away.

The shop is the one from the book In Turkey I am Beautiful.

I hadn’t heard of the book before but an employee showed me the book and I read the bit about him.

He was Bull Ant and I can attest to the fact that he is just like he is described in the book!

As per his reputation he took me down to the shop’s basement. He was hoping to try his magic on the carpets down there.

Yeah I don’t think so buddy! I was not interested in his ‘Turkish delight’!

The only thing extending was my camera lens as I just took a photo of him holding the book.

 

The whole time I was in Istanbul I kept singing Istanbul (not Constantinople). I would even tell my friends that I was in Istanbul not Constantinople, so if you want to meet me in Constantinople I will be waiting in Istanbul.

When I was in the Aya Sofia I was very happy to hear that a guy who walked past me was singing the same song.

I thought to myself ‘yay I am not the only one with it stuck in my head’!

Enchanting Jerash and entering The Jewish State

For our last stop in Jordan we decided to go and see Jerash. This was mainly because The Gherkin and I had it listed in our 1000 places journals and The Brazilian thought that it would be easier to cross over to Israel via the northern crossing which is nearby.

So we got a nice taxi from the hotel in Madaba to take us to Jerash. The friendly driver even bought us drinks during the trip (cups of tea naturally) and entertained us by telling us how much he likes the Jordanian King. He told a story about how the king would play taxi driver to find out what was happening with the people of his country.

The ever obliging driver helped us find a hotel (well there are only two in town). So we dropped off our bags in the one close to the attraction of the town and went to see it, the ancient city of Jerash which is a big site of roman ruins.

We bought tickets and then on entering we saw a sign helpfully reminding us to be sure to have our tickets (in case we lost them in the 5 steps between the ticket office and the sign), and that Jerash can also be spelt Gerasa. The ruins are sprawled across a huge area and it was baking hot. I almost melted into a puddle of sweat. The first feature is the Arch of Hadrian, and then there is a hippodrome which was a chariot race place. This one was the smallest in the Roman Empire.  The area also features a large rare forum as it is one of the only oval shaped plazas the Romans built. The forum leads to the main road which is a colonnaded street that runs the length of the city and is called the cardo due to it being the heart of the city. Along the cardo is the Nymphaeum which was a fountain. I let devil duckie out to experience it and he did not create as much controversy as the splash he made when swimming in a similar shaped bath in Bethany, the lack of (holy) water may have been a factor.  

Also along the cardo The Gherkin detoured and went off up some side stairs.  I couldn’t be bothered following (I figured I was risking a bad case of heat exhaustion) and decided I would wait for him to come back. So I stayed and tried to find some shelter in the shade of the columns. The Brazilian turned up and was like 'Where is The Gherkin?’ So I pointed up the stairs and said ‘he went that way’, so off he followed. When neither returned I figured that I better go up that way too.

I found some ruins with mosaics on the floor, the southern amphitheatre and completed the circle to the oval plaza where we all met up again.

That night the guy from the hotel drove The Gherkin and me to an internet café, but it was the lamest internet café ever as the internet did not in fact work. So we got a friendly stranger to lend us his phone and called the hotel guy to come and pick us up. He did not charge us for these taxi services either.

So we hired him to drive us to the Jordan River border crossing the next day. He also bought us drinks and then he even paid for the taxi from where he had to drop us off outside to the actual Jordanian exit building out of the money we had agreed for the trip.

Since I knew that a stamp exiting Jordan at this point would prove that I had been to Israel (its not just the Israeli stamps you have to be careful about) I asked them not to stamp my passport, they we happy to accommodate my wishes and got me to fill in an entry card and put the stamp (which looks like a postage stamp) on the back of it.

We then got a bus to the Israeli side of the border and had to go through their entrance procedures.

They made The Gherkin empty everything out of his backpack and x-rayed it multiple times. But he got thru the passport bit quickly.

They made me take all the books out of my backpack (I was lugging a few) and checked through the pages of them all and then x-rayed my pack again. As I was zipping up my bag again, a very attractive young Israeli girl walked up to me picked up my passport and asked me my father’s name. I told her and she then asked me my paternal grandfather’s name which I totally don’t know! We always called him by a Chinese word for grandfather. But I just said I didn’t know and didn’t explain and she apparently didn’t care enough to probe the issue any further.

When they looked at my passport at the immigration window they asked if I had been to any other Arabic countries. I said Morocco but they couldn’t find the stamp (it’s at the back) they eventually found it and let me in. I asked them not to stamp my passport so they stamped the standard separate bit of paper.

The Brazilian’s bag was not checked, but he looked deep into the eyes of the attractive young woman at passport control and mesmerised by her charms he answered yes when asked if he had more than one passport.

They then proceeded to ask him every question they could possibly think of and even wanted to see his American driver’s license.

I think that they purposely employ these hot babes there so that they guys let down their guard and let slip information.

We ended up having to wait three hours for The Brazilian to get his visa.

I passed the time by reading one of my many many books. Until we were finally able to all walk into the country together.

Friends and Fries

In Al Jedida I thought that we would get off the bus at a bus station, but The Gherkin was like this is it. Off we got beside a service station by a roundabout. I guess I shouldn’t expect to go to a luxurious place such as a bus station when the bus we were on was pretty damn close to a chicken bus. There were no live chickens on it but I wouldn’t have been surprised if there were. It was old it was crowded and it was supposed to take 4 hours but took 6 ½ long slow cramped hours.

Getting off I felt quite lost as there was only a creepy guy who would grab us wanting money. Yeah not the way to get me to cough up any cash. I was just like erk what kind of place am I in???

We walked in a random direction and found the bus station and then a nearby hotel.

We did try to find the sea but with an obviously impaired sense of direction we never came across it. We did find a supermarket with the most amusingly named Pringles type chips named Kracks. Yes I want to eat some Kracks. Don’t you want to taste some Kracks too?

 

The next day we caught a bus to Casablanca. It sounds so romantic but I have never seen the film (that wasn’t even shot there anyway). We went to an information centre to see what there was to do there and got talked into taking a tour.

We went to the mosque the next morning, obviously looking like fresh off the boat tourists since a taxi driver tried to get our business offering us the low low price of 10 Euros! As if!!

The Gherkin went for the mosque tour but I wasn’t that interested so I watched our bags and read my book (before and after) in the shade.

The Gherkin returned and we met our tour guide. He was a nice old fellow named Lucky.

The tour consisted of seeing:

• A spot to take photos with the mosque in the background across the water.

• The rich area, apparently the Beverly Hills of Casablanca!

• A church with some very impressive stained glass walls.

• Some government buildings to see the architecture

• Driving past the fountain, I took a sneaky free photo of a water bearer

• A souk that had a lot of olives

The guide gave us each:

• A Casablanca postcard

• A keychain

, The Gherkin’s was blue and mine was a shoe

 

At the end of the tour we were dropped off at the station to catch a train to Rabat.

It was a nice new train but when the Gherkin jumped off the train and I followed we found out that we were at the wrong station!

There are two and we got off at the first one instead of the second. So we decided to have some food at the station café. We ordered and didn’t get any food so ordered again. The Gherkin got his food but I didn’t get mine. So I tried to ask the waiter for my fries again. But the fries Nazi waiter had decided that there would be no fries for me! I was most upset and gave the chips czar the evil eye, I hope its international the Gherkin says the finger is but I wasn’t that brave.

I did ask why I couldn’t have fries, they were on the menu and the gherkin’s meal came with fries. But the waiter wouldn’t give an answer, I think he just didn’t know how to say “no fries for you”!

We got a taxi to the area we wanted to stay in (right near the other station of course).

At dinner I ordered cheeseless pizza and fries. The pizza arrived but no fries. It’s like the underground waiter network is conspiring to keep the fries from me. Damn you fries Nazi and your surprisingly long reach!

The Gherkin wanted to rest so I went for a walk alone.

I went to find the Hassan tower and mausoleum. It wasn’t as far as I thought it would be and as is my custom I met a random stranger on the way.

I was just past 1^st November square, where I ogled at the oddness of naming places after dates. The local guy was on the street and I was looking at my map and he asked if I needed help. I was just like that’s the mausoleum right? Where do I enter? So he walked with me and I got him to be my personal photographer.

He said he lived across the river in Salé and wanted to take me there but I do have my stranger following limits!

So we just walked along the waterfront to the Kasbah des Oudaias.

The nice strange man bought me a glass of the lovely Moroccan fresh squeezed orange juice. It got dark and we walked back to my hotel through the medina.

The guy was in the army and insisted on walking me to see the outside of the royal palace he guarded. It really wasn’t impressive from the outside and he wouldn’t sneak me in.

The next day the Gherkin was supposed to go sightseeing with me but he was in slacker mode and didn’t want to. I was glad I saw what I wanted to see the night before.

So we just got a train to Meknes. I got the tickets and just automatically got second class. So we were crowded in with our backpacks and no seats. It was a long game of sardines but I eventually got a seat in a compartment. The Gherkin had a longer game as he was stuck in the aisle the whole time.

Club Snark

I saw this babysitter’s club book at a used bookstall in Essaouira.

As you can see it is in French. I don’t know what the translation to le club des babysitters Melanie garde la tete froide is, probably not Melanie tries it with girls…

Anyway since it was french the character’s names were different too. I think that Melanie is the new name of Maryanne.

But wow I used to freaking love to read those books. The thrill I felt when I had a one I hadn’t read yet in my little hand. I used to scour the library shelves regularly. A couple of times I was even bought the new books! But that was a rare treat indeed.

I sometimes wonder how much those books affected me. For example in the babysitters club special edition when they went on a cruise (Babysitters On Board). Kristy was super excited and her stepsister Karen said how the air bridge when they walked on to the plane smelt like coffee. I swear that to this day every time I walk on an air bridge I smell it to see if it is coffee scented. So far it never has been.

In Mallory and the trouble with twins the girls all go to get their ears pierced.

Dawn got her ears pierced twice in each ear and I wonder if this influenced me to now have my two holes in each of my ears.

Yeah I’m just that sad.

So anyway my point and I do have one is that I discovered the babysitters club snark and ha! I nearly wet myself laughing. Its brilliant snark!

How did I not see how bad Claudia’s outfits were? That Janine was fucking Charlie when he drove Kristy over for the meetings? The cult like qualities of the BSC? Oh the sweet innocence of youth!

 

Two lovely London days

So the first day my new gay friend and I went out to enjoy an uncharacteristically sunny day in London. He does need a name, I shall call him hunnybunny which is much cuter and sweeter than what he wanted me to call him. Yeah I’m not calling him sexyboy like he wants (he is such a closet bi). He is my funny sunny little hunnybunny until I think of a better name.

We got a late start and went to Euston station where he had to buy a train ticket for a future trip, then to Tottenham Court Road where I had to go to the Crumpler store and buy a laptop sleeve. I paid far too much for a green Sir Gimp but I refuse to feel bad about it. My new baby needed protection so I got it the best gimp money can buy.

We then walked via Leicester Square, Trafalgar Square and the Jubilee Bridge to the London Eye. We took lots of photos, hunnybunny’s were much better than mine but hey he has a much better camera than I do. A big Japanese tourist special vs. my little compact camera.

There were lots of people about and many street performers trying to get their money. Everyone was enjoying the wonderful weather.

We bought tickets for the eye at 4.30pm but we were told they were selling them for 6pm and we couldn’t line up until 5.30pm.

So we wandered around. Going to the Dali gift shop and a souvenir shop to pass the time. Its fun looking for tacky souvenirs. Did not buy anything thou. Hell I had spent enough already with the Sir Gimp and the eye ticket!

We lined up at the end of a very long line for the big bicycle wheel and finally boarded our eye pod around 6.20pm. It was dark by then but still a very nice view. Big Ben was all lit up next to the Thames and you can’t see the end of London. It just stretches out forever.

The ride lasts about 30mins and afterwards we walked to embankment tube station.

 

 

 

 

The other day I had an appointment with a recruitment agency in the Kings Cross area. So afterwards I went to The British Library which is nearby.

I used The Rick Steves book as it has a tour to follow in it. Really the best things to see are in the one room, The Sir John Ritblat Gallery. I walked around consulting my book constantly in true tourist form. Saw the Magna Carta and actually learnt what it was all about. Feeling very educated me then walked around to see the big wall of books. On the way out I then found a poster and read Darwin’s debating of the pros and cons of marriage. I’m still undecided on the issue really…

I detoured from the Kings Cross Underground station to go into the railway station and find platform 9 ¾. It is a kind of hidden away spot where they have just put up a sign and have a luggage cart sticking half way out of the wall. I didn’t make it through to Hogwarts but did get a devil duckie photo just before he fell off the cart. Oh well am not a rabid Harry Potter fan or anything, I have only read the first 5 books so far. Not in any rush to read the rest. Not when I should be out enjoying nice days in the city like this.

London, lost and lots of planes

I had guidebook Chuck nagged me to get sent to Giselle’s place so had to get up way early one winter’s day to go pick it up. She wasn’t there as she had gone back to NZ for a couple of weeks so I had to go over before her flatmates left for work. The actual book wasn’t there of course, I had been left a card and had to catch the tube to another stop to find the place to pick up the book. But finally I had Rick Steve's London 2009 (plus I couldn’t resist getting Vegan a Go-Go too).

After skimming The Book I selected the Bankside Walk as my mission for that day. Took the tube to London Bridge and couldn’t find the exit the book said to take so got a little lost before finding London Bridge (it hadn’t fallen down). The visibility was not good and I could hardly see Tower Bridge. The weather was pretty crap actually. Still snow on the ground that had gone all icey and it was pouring with rain. Plus I felt crap as I was getting over a cold.

But I persevered with my mission. I found Southwark Cathedral and I sat on a pew and read The Book for awhile to rest and defrost before I had a look around. By the time I had done that the Borough Market was open and I had a good wander around and got a super veg burger for lunch.

Next I found the Golden Hinde replica. It’s actually a pretty small ship considering it took so many men around the world. I just looked at the outside and didn’t go in. Sorry rats, maybe when I become a real pirate I shall steal the ship and take it on a personal world plundering voyage. It would please the FSM.

The Winchester Palace is just a wall with a window in it now but I gave it a good look over as I walked past.

I skipped the Clink Museum on the advice of The Book and I didn’t bother with Vinopolis and The Anchor Pub since I don’t drink.

I considered the tour of the Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre but decided that it would be better when there weren’t so many teenagers around (they were swarming) plus cheaper if I do it in with other sights in one go with a London pass. So saving that for a later date I made the choice to concentrate on seeing The Tate Modern.

I saw everything and even liked some of it. There was actually some interesting stuff and it was a lot less “looks like they gave a two year old some crayons” than I feared.

I was pretty tired due to my illness and early start to the day. I actually almost fell asleep next to one of my favourite displays. It was a whole lot of silverware that had been crushed and then hung in circles. There were a few little rooms that were showing films and had benches that looked rather comfy in them. I was so tempted to just have a little nap on one of them but didn’t think it would be a good idea.

Leaving the museum I walked across the millennium bridge (no swaying) and past St Pauls to its tube stop and the train home.

Another day I attempted to visit The RAF Museum. Unfortunately I didn’t make it as I got lost. This seems to be a chronic problem for me lately. My theory is that being in the Northern Hemisphere is confusing my sense of direction. Perhaps the sun shines from a different angle and my innate inner direction finder gets all messed up and can’t cope with the change.

Whatever it is, it doesn’t help when I forget to bring my A to Z and don’t realise that the turn I knew I had to make had actually been a gentle curve in the road I had already taken…

So the day I actually made it to the museum was a personal victory.

I am not that into military stuff (the whole trained government killer, getting up dreadfully early to be yelled at deal has never appealed to me) but the museum was free and it had some interesting stuff. I quite liked the wall of aviation history year by year and there was a nice little 3D movie of a fighter jet.

I was pretty good at the ATC computer game thing. I knew that I should land the biz jet before the 747 due to wake turbulence. The guy I was taking turns with didn’t turn his plane in time and it had a mid air collision. I tried not to look too smug when I didn’t repeat his mistake.

There was a Tri-Star cockpit simulator which was larger inside than I expected. Plus lots of old military aircraft to wander around a gawk at.

I ran out of time to see the battle of Britain hall, not sure that I really have any great desire to see it, but if I ever get the urge to see it I can always go back.