Great Adventures of a Green Goddess

Inflatable entertainment

I bought this balloon animal making kit in Hicksville (A place where one has to search for entertainment options, others in the local population got their inflated amusement from the neighbourhood topless bar…). I got the kit for a couple of bucks so it’s cheap fun. Plus it looked like a good, clean and wholesome form of amusement.

But I managed to change that. But believe me I didn’t even do it on purpose, it started purely as an accident. Honestly!

I started out just trying to make the classic French poodle.

My first problem was that the bubbles would not stay when I made them. They would easily undo on their own. I found I had to try and hold them until I could do the twist lock together bit and then they stayed as they should. After working that out it seemed that then it was all going well. I did the head and the front legs, that’s when I encountered a major problem. I found that I didn’t have enough slack in the balloon to twist the rest as any more bubble attempts would have resulted in a tragic poodle pup popping incident. So I did what I could and kinda folded it together.

I looked at my finished result and that’s when I (with my naturally dirty mind) discovered that it looks like its wanking a big dick!

Next I tried another chaste poodle in an appropriate pink balloon. I didn’t inflate it as much as the last. This didn’t work as I ended up with the opposite problem and didn’t have enough balloon inflated to finish the depressingly deflated dog, it looks like one of those dogs that’s missing their hind legs. I feel I should make it a little cart thing to pull around its back half in. but the instruction book didn’t come with directions for making that.

So I made a lucky shamrock instead.

But that was a bit tame after my previous efforts so I instead did this:

Now I figured that I wasn’t the only one with a deviant mind who would pervert the innocence of balloon art. So I did a quick search and discovered that I was right and there is in fact a whole book showing how to make lewd, crude and just plain rude balloons. Good to know I am not alone with my smutty skills.

Penguin hot water bottle cover

On the featured blog here on the front page of typepad one day there was the penguin books blog. The picture of the penguin inspired me to make another hot water bottle cover.

Yeah it’s taken me awhile since I actually started many months ago. But I finally finished it as it didn’t have much else to do but that which I had been putting off. Is boredom the solution to procrastination?

Not sure what to even do with it now since it is so hot here I have become accustomed to sleeping without even a top sheet on my bed. It would be better in cold climes when such penguin power could give you happy feet on a cold winter’s night.

And to be honest the image I had of how this birdie bedmate would turn out was slightly better than how it is in reality. Things tend to look better in my head…

Friend fine and shrinky success

Ok so Eggy emailed me and I phoned her so we are all good again.

This is a big relief as I was worried about our friendship.

Yay for good buddies!

My other success was with shrinking plastic.

I remember they used to have the shrinky plastic things in cereal boxes when I was a kid.

I wanted to try making some again. Yes I am all for reliving the fun of childhood.

I read online that instead of spending up large on shrinky dinks sheets I could use old yogurt containers.

The info was that the bottom was the part to use.

So I ate some lovely soy yogurt and then kept the containers.

Then I cut out the bottoms.

I drew (very badly but hey this is just a test run) and cut out shapes.

I put a bit of cardboard on an oven tray and carefully placed my shrinky bits on it.

I read the instructions for shrinky dinks to learn that I needed to heat them in the oven at 163C for a couple of minutes.

Then I let them cool while being very happy that it worked!

I can now consider all the things I can make with my free shrinky plastic.

Will have to be teeny tiny as the yogurt container bottoms are quite small but they are free and fun!

I feel some more crafty ideas coming on for this wench.

Top hat and tuxedo hot water bottle cover

I thought this would be a cute idea. Bella was like oh now you have a man to sleep with.

I did some research and discovered that top hats tended to be worn with white tie not the black tie of a tux.

But then I decided I was obsessing over it way too much and I would just make it how I wanted it.

So here is my completely handsewn masterpiece.

Doesn’t quite look like how I imagined it to be but close enough I suppose.

It will keep me nice and warm. Along with my new slippers.

Bella’s bottle cover

I made this hot water bottle cover for Miss Bella in the style she requested. Black on one side, white on the other and with a flappy bit for putting the bottle in.

I found that my sewing machine wasn’t sewing very well at all. It is just a cheap one I got when lawn saleing. So really I guess I can’t expect much from this ancient machine. I am pretty sure it is older than me! And god bob knows I am feeling old and decrepit in this cold weather.

I am now adding to my lust list a new sewing machine. Something bright and shiny with lots of different feet, stitches and mad button holing skillz!

I ended up sewing the cover by hand.

I made the pattern by tracing around a hot water bottle and then adding some extra room for the bottle being full and the seams.

The hardest bit was the bias binding on the flap edges.

I actually bought it for another craft project (who knows when I will get around to doing that one). It was the only black bias binding I could find and I found it to be a bit too skinny with this thick fabric. Damn pain trying to keep the edge inside it!

But I finished it today and it’s all good. Poor Bella probably could have used it earlier since she is currently camping out in the desert freezing her tits off (lucky she has lots to spare in that area). Its for the Finke desert race , where most of the town (plus others who come in just for it) go out where is colder than a well digger’s ass. Total madness! I didn’t go as I am sane.

Besides now I have to start working on a cover for me. So stay tuned!

At long last amassed and unsurpassed my past craft efforts

As a good little woman I am not averse to doing some crafting, gotta show a bit of wenchly creativity.

I like to browse craftster for ideas.

I haven’t posted photos of previous craft endeavours due to lack of a camera and slackness.

I made the pyjamas awhile ago.

A full set for me and the pants for Giselle who didn’t want them and just abandoned the gift, I saw her being an ungrateful cow as an opportunity to keep them for myself and found the David and Goliath top on sale for $5, which I think goes well with the PJ pants and was kinda relevant when I was going to the gym.

Then there is the lucky vulva coinpurse, I previously mentioned making.

Well I made some. Gave some away and kept one for me. I use mine to store my diva cup and find that the pin I got with it makes a nice labia piercing.

I got the camera case which I think is very cool but could use more padding for my precious camera. So I made the inner sleeve. It works wonderfully.

That’s all the crafty photos I have now. Stay tuned for more crafty happenings.