Lots to tell about Tel Aviv

So Mordy and me left the Dead Sea. It was time to say bye bye to the Dead Sea and hello again to Tel Aviv. Driving back Mordy who is addicted to his mobile phones (yes plural) realised that he had managed to leave them at the Dead Sea. So it was blissfully quiet until he got them sent to Tel Aviv and picked them up from the airport (bye bye peace).

The airports in Israel obviously have tight security and one time they would not let me in. So Mordy went in and I sat outside by the gate. I just got out my laptop for its games and music and asked the guards if they had any requests for songs...
They were actually quite nice and I sat in a shady spot chatting to them so I wasn’t unhappy. Then their boss came along and she let me in to the airport. I guess she decided I wasn’t a terrorist or perhaps she was sick of me distracting her employees.
We ferried a Cessna 172 to another Tel Aviv airport, it was a very quick flight and Mordy let me do the flying again. This time it was “look Ma no hands” as he got me to do it hands free using only the rudder.
We then got a taxi back to the other airport where we had left the car. I was a bit disappointed we didn’t hitchhike since Mordy liked to go on so much about how safe it is in Israel. Perhaps he remembered that time when we picked some up and was worried about what I would say “Do you want to see something REALLY scary? Or channelling Mick Dundee “that’s not a knife, this is a knife!”…

 

We went to a mall (I read that Israel has the highest number of malls per capita in the world) and Mordy stayed out in the car park talking on his phone. Seriously he needs a 12 step program or something.

I was like “I can see the promised land and I wanna shop!”

When Mordy was finally ready to shop the store he wanted was closed ha-ha.

When I got to go shopping I bought a Spork, not just any Spork but a transparent blue Light My Fire Spork. It lights my fire of love for multi use cutlery devices. Oh how proud I am of it, and if you try to take it away from me I will stab you with the fork, cut you with the knife and gouge out your eyes with the spoon.

Mordy bought me a new travel journal as my trusty 1000 places to see before you die one was nearly full. The new one is Hebrew so it is designed to be written in backwards. I just turned it around and used it the normal way with the back as the front. It works fine.

 

We went to a vegan place I had read about on Happy Cow called Buddha Burger and it is awesome. We split a buddha burger and a tofu burger. So delicious we had to go back more than once.

Across the road is Rabin Square where they have a plaque as this is where the prime minister Yitzhak Rabin was assassinated in 1995.

Not only does it say this but it includes a diagram of where everyone was standing. each person is numbered in the diagram and then all the names are listed below. In case you wanted to know exactly how it happened!  But it seems to be a bit too much info to me.

 

We once again stayed in Mordy’s friend’s apartment that was being renovated. The apartment the owner Larry was there to work on the renovations. As Larry was working I chatted to him but since I talk so fast and with an accent he was always going Ma? Which is Hebrew for what? That didn’t stop us from flirting a bit.

He stayed so late that he decided to spend the night and due to a lack of bedding we ended up sleeping together.
And by sleeping together I mean fucking all night.

Yes after ten years of being an incel, I had sex. Not just sex but unprotected sex. With a married man. Twice.

Its scandalous, I have been so bad. Not just bad but appallingly stupidly idiotic.
What a dumb fuck! I am a home wrecking hussy (I guess I really am my mother’s daughter) and a complete moron. Just call me the whore of herzliya!

I can’t believe I did this as it was very foolish. I do feel bad about the fact that Larry is married. He gave me the old excuse of his wife never wants to have sex anymore and since they have young kids that could very well be true. But I shouldn’t have given in to the temptation should I?

I try to tell myself that its not like I am gonna go all bunny boiler and try to split them up or anything. It was just sex and it is not my responsibility to keep him faithful to his marriage.

I do wish I could have broken that dry spell, hell it was a drought with a better candidate. But it was the first time in ten years and I couldn’t turn down the opportunity. Besides I was just so shocked to even be in the situation. I had thought I would never have sex ever again!

But when I went to bed as he was already there and as I lay down beside him he started touching me and told me I was beautiful. He even kissed me! I don’t know why, he didn’t seem that desperate, he was a normal attractive guy my age.

I am so stupid, I know that “If it’s not on, It’s not in” but I wasn’t too good at following my own advice.

In my defence all I can say is that I am dumb and I was not expecting this at all. After a decade it was the last thing I thought I would do.

Oh and it felt pretty damn fantastic I must admit.
It’s funny that it was 10 years ago that I last did any fucking, or flying.

And now I did both in a very short period of time.

Is it just merely a random coincidence or is there some kind of weird link in my life between these two activities?

Mordy had to leave Israel as he had a new job. As he was preparing to leave I tagged along and just waited around while he sorted stuff and enjoyed the fact that Tel Aviv has a lot of unlocked wifi.
We went to the marina to look at the boats and try to spot some fish. I don’t know why there was a huge statue of a bird. But there was so I took a photo. We sat under the shady umbrellas at an ice cream parlour and it was a nice finale to a good visit.

Then when Mordy left for the airport he dropped me off at a hostel.
I was happy with his choice (despite feeling like the odd one out as every other chick in my girls dorm room was gorgeous) as there was another veggie place just along the street called Taste of Life, I ate some great food there, and I even had some veggie schwarma. I thought this was cool as the guys had been living on meat schwarma  for most of our trip and now I got to try a totally vegan version.

I caught a bus (while wondering if it was the type that was blown up) and went to the university and found The museum of the Jewish Diaspora despite it not having very good signage.
The computer had trouble scanning my student ID card. I chose not to suggest that it might have been due to the little fact of it quite possibly being a fake. I was told to go ahead and look around. Perhaps I was supposed to go back later and try to pay. But when I used the exited it didn't pass the front desk so I didn’t end up paying.

In the entrance area of the museum was a sand wheel thing that would draw in the sand and then smooth it over again. This was to show eternal repetition. The sign explains that three things intrigue us when relating to Jewish cultural heritage:

The cycle of time

The writing hand capturing time & events

The deleting-hand that attempts, time & again, to erase heritage.

All three are reflected in the element you are encountering.

 

The museum tells the story of 2000 years of Jewish life with a focus on the people. There were models of Jewish life such as a wedding scene, I think there was even a bris too, but I am sure I am repressing such memories out of the sheer horror of the celebration of penis mutilation. Although I did meet a couple of Jewish American guys while at a Laundromat (yay for a country where I don’t have to wash by hand) who were pretty funny when they said that the Jews are so confident that they cut a bit off before they even know how big it will grow.

 Anyway back in the museum had lots of models of different styles of synagogues around the world. That was my fave part and it was cool how many different styles there were.

I also liked that one wall featured a cut out of a menorah with a mural behind it. Pretty cool.

On the way back from the museum I got off the bus at Rabin Square for Buddha Burger and then I let Devil Duckie out at the Dizengoff Fountain. As it is such a symbol of Tel Aviv a duck shot was necessary despite fact it was covered in bird droppings.

I also went to the beach were they have a boat shaped concrete memorials. I got a photo of a “boat” with a plane in the background I liked. But I was sad a missed an awesome shot of a plane that was flying over that looked like it was going to hit an interesting shaped building. I tried to wait for another but none had the right perspective. Damn those perfect shots you miss.

 

Back at the hostel I got talking to a guy working there and he said he wanted to have sex with me. I was like whoa I am on a roll! But I wasn’t into him at all and that was the night I did laundry so I was like “I’m going to the Laundromat, you should just do a load by hand”.

Comments

[Eggy]

'Load by hand' - he he very clever!