Great Adventures of a Green Goddess

Hong Kong to Bangkok and the world’s my oyster

I’d been to Hong Kong airport a few times by now. But this was the first time I‘d used the other terminal.

Terminal 2 it turns out is even better than terminal 1. And I now have a new love for Hong Kong airport.

First I enjoyed that it had a display regarding the future of the airport. I followed the runway decorated floor (with a cut out aircraft doing a low pass overhead) around and did a survey. As a reward I was given a free magnet.

 

Then little ole Plane Jane me discovered the aviation discovery area. It was awesome.

The area was quite dark so and my photos didn’t come out too well but you can get the idea of it.

There were displays set into the floor and covered in glass so they could be walked on.

There is a sky deck where you climb up to watch the aircraft. But you have to pay for that. There is also a fee for the flight simulator. But I heard that it is for kids only anyway.

The rest is free and includes videos and models that explain how aircraft operate. There is even a first class seat that can be tried out.

 

I was flying from Hong Kong to Bangkok with Royal Jordanian Airlines.

It was my first flight on an Airbus A330. I would like to try all the different airliners types (I’m fan of turbo fans). So far I haven’t been doing that well as I have only been on the most commonly used aircraft, The Boeings 737 747 777 and the Airbuses A320 and A380.

 

At check in they weighed my pack and it was 13kg. I’m sorry I can’t defend that really. But I will say that it did have my computer in it at the time.

They still let me carry it on. But attached a bright tag that said that it was heavy and could be denied by the flight attendants on board. I just don’t know what is to stop me from taking it off between check in and the gate?

 

On the way to the gate I was strangely fascinated by the moving walkway system. You could look down thru the glass panels that separated the two opposite directional travelators and see another set of these horizontal escalators below and the people using them.

 

On the plane I didn’t have any problems with the crew and just shoved my heavy bag up into the overhead locker myself.

 

The meal was lame and I have doubts about it being vegan. Part of it looked like it could have been custard or hamster pus. But I was too tired to eat anyway.

I was so tired so didn’t think I could follow a complex movie plot. So I put on a kid’s movie. The Rapunzel tale known as Tangled.

I still managed to wake up near the end with no idea what was happening!

 

My flight arrived at a late hour.

It was actually past midnight when I went thru immigration and I wondered if I would get stamped in on that day and thus have an extra day in Thailand. But no I was stamped as arriving the day before so I guess they go by when my flight actually touched down.

 

Due to the late hour I had no option but to get a taxi to the city.

Then I ended up wandering around at 1am looking for a place to stay. Not good start.

I was tired and it was dark.

Then it started to rain.

 

Really I should have booked a place to stay before I arrived as being lost alone in a strange city without much of a plan is not my best move.  Admittedly one I have done a time or two before. Oh well yet again I survived my stupidity and I did find a place to stay eventually.

 

I was in the Backpacker Central area aka Khao San Road. Many stalls sell stuff to the tourists and the many t-shirts being sold gave me an idea.

They should totally have one that says ‘Khao San Road, I see white people’.

 

High Hong Kong

So once again I found myself back in Hong Kong a place where you can get a cat with your magazines (Insert your own Chinese food joke here).

I was back just for one night so I decided to spend it in the backpacking centre known as TST because no backpacker can pronounce Tsim Sha Tsui.

 

I went to an infamous building that was big, old, full of backpackers and probably a fire risk.

It’s called Chung King Mansions and has lots of cheap guesthouses.

Found a place where I got my own room with ensuite and wifi included.

Being curious I wanted to see what was out the window. I do these things so you don’t have to and I don’t recommend it as behind window number one was an internal shaft that was dank and dirty.

 

Set off for the one day I had to hang out in Hong Kong ready to learn something about the place.

At Chuck’s suggestion I went to the Hong Kong Museum of History. He had good advice as it was worth the hk$10 (about US$1.30) entrance fee.

There was everything from the geological periods in the creation of Hong Kong to the recreation of old fashioned street scenes.

Real water and a fake backdrop were used for a display of boats in the harbour.

My personal favourite was towers of buns. They were from a festival where people would climb them. But I believe the practise was abandoned for being too dangerous. I do wonder where the idea that climbing a huge pile of pastry was a good idea started.

 

After my education in Hong Kong history I headed to Tung Chung on the MTR to catch the cable car up the hill.

Ngong ping 360 has 2 types of gondolas normal and the not for any acrophobics Crystal Cabin glass bottom version.

Not a fan of heights (or paying a premium) I went with the normal capsule.

 

Reading up on the operation now I am pretty shocked at the safety record. The service is currently closed due to a technical fault and it has been shut down numerous times in the past.

Including a time when a cable car fell off the wire!

 

This reminds me of how my parents always told me a story about how we nearly ended up in a similar situation in Singapore. There is a cable car to Sentosa Island and according to the parentals we were going to go on it one night but ended up going the night before.

The night we were going to go a ship sailed under the wires but it was too tall, hit the wires and caused some cars to fall into the sea.

For a while I thought that this was just a fanciful story. Then one day I googled it and it turns out its true!

Well the bit about the accident. I of course can’t prove or disprove the story that we were supposed to be on it at that time.

 

Anyway back to Ngong Ping 360 and their atrocious safety record. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t know anything about this while I was riding it.

So all I thought was wow the view of the airport is amazing.

 

At the top of the hill I first headed to the Po Lin Monastery as they have a vegetarian restaurant and I was hungry.

The system works whereby you buy a ticket for the number in your party (in my case that would be 1, devil duckie is cheap to feed) and then take it to the restaurant.

I decided to splash out on the luxury set meal. The best bit was the tofu with lemon sauce and I had so much food I couldn’t finish it.

 

The other main attraction is the Tian Tan Buddha which is very big and made of bronze. It is up 260 steps. But with a full belly I had even less inclination than usual to exert myself to see a religious artefact that as Chuck put it “is all fake anyway”.

Although I think he just means that it was built recently as opposed to some ancient relics that were built to just as fake deities but have some history.

 

Walking back to the cable car station there were animals wandering around. Sacred cows perhaps?

And what was that? Was it a bird? A plane? Spiderman? No it was a display of cable cars from around the world.

 

An Ice cream man display wanted to be shot not sat on.

It made me wish I had a gun with me (in a major oversight on my part I never picked one up in the USA. I should have got one in my cornflakes box right?) Then I could have aimed and fired and been all “what it said I could shoot him!”

 

There was a display of weapons but they were not of the shooting variety.

But it did seem a bit violent isn’t Buddhism supposed to be peaceful?

I am not sure but there was a book that could have help me.

In the gift shop, always a good place to look for wacky things did not disappoint, is where I could have picked up a copy of Buddhism for dummies.

Or the very cute MTR styled office accessories.

Seriously who wouldn’t love a subway train stapler? Or a turnstile tape dispenser? Ticket machine notepaper or penholder, the gift for the person who has everything.

Longest. Flight. Ever.

Rosie took me to the airport making sure I got a photo of the bong recreation area on the way. She’s a good friend like that.

 

At O’Hare Airport she dropped me off at the international terminal.

I had thought I am flying international so I’ll go to the international terminal. Turned out I was supposed to think I am flying United Airlines so I need the United terminal.

Thus I got a bonus train ride between the terminals.

 

I quite liked the United terminal because there was a dinosaur. I don’t mean their geriatric jets either.

It was a skeleton of a Brachiosaurus actually not the real bones but a replica. But this is an airport people so they still get credit for trying.

Plus that’s not all folks!

To get to my gate I had to go under the airport apron and the tunnel had lights. Pretty changing colour lights ooohhh.

 

My flight from Chicago to Hong Kong would be the longest flight I’d ever been on. At 7,793 miles United 895 is number 23 on the list of world’s longest non-stop flights (by distance, time can be shorter for a longer flight depending on winds). It’s also the longest flight in the world operated by a plain old Boeing 747-400 (Qantas has some longer flights with the 747-400ER).

 

I was hoping that we would have to divert for fuel. It is apparently pretty common for them to have to stop off somewhere like Japan or China to top up the tanks and I would love to be able to say that I had been on a flight so long that it had run out of fuel!

 

We didn’t run out of fuel but we were delayed in taking off by an hour because they had to refuel before we left Chicago.

My carefully pre-chosen seat was yet again the best economy class has to offer (right at the back so my window seat only had 1 seat between me and the freedom of the aisle).

 

Because United Airlines suck more than a hooker with an eviction notice and only have main screen entertainment I was in the midflight zombie zone when the movie I wanted to see came on. Therefore I missed most of Rio as I passed out.

 

Luckily I had my iPod to use for my own personal entertainment when I wasn’t semi conscious and was in need of distraction. Never have I needed angry birds more, I even have the Rio version of the game.

With 15.5hrs to fill at least I had the amusement value of the 3 meals I was served.

 

So after we take off and set a course for over the pole I get my first vegan special meal and it has a spherical grain of some sort.

Ok I looked it up just now and apparently it’s a pasta called Israeli couscous. It came with a chickpea and sweet potato curry that even had a slice of peach on top. There was German rye bread, salad and hey vegan cookies!

 

Then I got my snack. Oh vegan cookies again, the exact same package, guess they bought them in bulk.

Oh and what is this in my sandwich? Oh its some lettuce and the Israeli couscous again, just stuck in half a pita bread!

Um ok so I not saying this isn’t something I might try if I opened the fridge when I hadn’t been shopping and this was all there was. But this is supposed to be a professional catering operation right? Not my experimental ghetto vegan kitchen.

 

Meal number three in the theme of repeating past meal components there was some more rye bread.

But at least Israeli couscous did not feature anywhere in the main dish. It was baked fruit with a side of fruit sauce (apple).

I’m not gonna lie, I ate it and I liked it.

Oshkosh my gosh!

Rosie wanted me to marry her ex and stay in the states.

The theory was that if I married him I could get a green card and thus a job and be able to hang out with her forever.

And after all she was done with her ex so why not pass on to me?

 

Besides Rosie gotten herself a new boyfriend.

He was home schooled and has like a dozen siblings so he has been brainwashed the Dugger way I am sure.

We did have a religious argument he was saying that thing "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing”. I totally won when I pointed out that god does nothing.

We got along fine but he cracked me up one day when He walked past my room, looked in the open door and just said “atheist!”

I also amused myself muchly one night as his being a good little Christian boy meant that Rosie had to break him in.  While she did this I was chatting to Dannyboy on Skype in the next room so I played I just had sex and every sperm is sacred for him. 

 

 

I went along with the getting Rosie’s ex idea although I have to admit that while there are many things I like about the United States there are two things that stop me from wanting to become a citizen.

The first is the lack of a decent national healthcare system.

I mean WTF? The USA is supposed to be the richest country in the world and they can’t even take care of their citizens? I think that proper healthcare is a need not just a want and a pretty big need too. I know that things like the NHS aren’t perfect but at least the people have something.

 

The second thing is that the USA has a citizenship based taxation system.

Apparently the Philippines used to have this but changed their law not so long ago. So now it is just Eritrea that has a 2% tax to fund their dictatorship and the USA.

What this means is that even if you don’t live in the county you have to pay tax.

Seriously what the hell would I be getting for my money?

And yes they do have a foreign earned exclusion and it is about $95000 per year but what if I did get rich? I don’t want to pay money to a country I am not even living in.

Plus I would still have to go to the trouble of filling out a tax return each year.

I prefer my citizenships to be in countries with fair and logical territorial taxation systems. This means it is based on living in the country and thus I can convince myself, benefiting from my tax dollars at work. Or even better I could travel around and pay taxes to no one.

 

 

So anyway Rosie set up a play dates for me and her ex which I thought was cute.

Ok so I have a plant theme going at the moment, no point changing it so what shall I call the ex? Thorn? Ick way too soap opera. Let’s go with Basil.

 

Basil’s a nice guy and he’s into flying and so he took me to Oshkosh for a day.

On the way there I saw that EAA had been written in the sky. This is because the full name of the show is the Experimental Aircraft Association AirVenture.

The skywriting was on a beautiful blue sky and it was luckily the weather was fine and it hadn’t been raining otherwise the event would be known as sploshkosh.

 

As we were buying tickets the lady selling them asked if we were married.

So I turned to Basil and said “you are going to marry me right?”

She thought this was so funny that she gave us the spouse discount.

 

Oshkosh is huge and the control tower is the busiest in the world for the week that it runs each year.

I was very happy to go the day we did as it was the only one that had the new Boeing 787 Dreamliner making an appearance.

So the first thing we did upon entering was go and find her.

There she was big, sleek and painted blue. And there was the line to go inside her. It just kept going and going so ridiculously long that we quickly realised that it wasn’t gonna happen for us. Very sad but there were so many other things to see!

 

I had forgotten to bring my hat but no problem. We went to the AOPA tent and I was given a free blue baseball cap with AOPA printed on the front in white.

Across from that tent, we visited the new flying car. This is a vehicle that can drive on the highway and then take off. This was the first new one since the 1950s and the old one was just outside.

 

Walking down to the vintage aircraft area, Devil Duckie was confronted with Devil Dog on a blue plane.

Later I spotted a pretty pink flowery plane but I didn’t see any life-sized Barbie doll walking around who I assume it belonged to.

In the Honda tent (they make aircraft too) we watched a demonstration of Asimo a humanoid robot. Asimo the amazing android could climb stairs and when he ran both feet were off the ground.

 

Soon it was time to watch the air show (they have one each day). On the way I managed to acquire a free airship, of the stress relief squeezy toy variety.

We found a spot and sat down, it was very hot sitting on the grass and although I was wearing my new hat I also felt the need to try and use my umbrella to shade me from the searing sun.

 

The air show was opened with parachutists. One had a huge flag attached to him.

The show had a harrier jet, privately owned and just plain awesome.

This is the British fighter jump jet that can do vertical takeoff and landing and hover in the air. Probably it’s most famous as ‘that plane from the movie true lies’.

 

There were lots of old fighters flying in formation and synchronised bombing.

It concluded with a wall of fire on the runway and Basil took a perfectly timed photo of it for me.

 

The 787 came out to depart and I liked looking at the contrast between the first real airliner the Douglas DC3 (it was the first aircraft that could make a profit just from passengers) and the newest airliner.

It has been so many years between the development of the ‘gooney bird’, this happy model was named Duggy and Boeings new plastic fantastic jet, so called as it is made of composites. She’s also known as the 7 Late 7 due to the many delays in production.

 

It was a fabulous day as Oshkosh is so awesome. I would love to go back in the future and stay for the entire week.

It just makes my geeky little heart happy!

Looping around Chicago

My Canadian friend, who I had met sleeping on a roof in Syria and had never named so what the hell let’s call him DannyBoy, was going to a conference in the states and we arraigned to meet up and explore Chicago together.

 

To get there this meant I would be riding the dog. Yes as in a greyhound bus. I really hoped I wouldn’t lose my head and I meant that literally.

I tried to tell myself that this was the United States not Canada, I wouldn’t get stabbed. I would get shot.

Luckily the Crisis was averted as I was the only passenger on the bus.

I thought of it as my own personal stretch limo and spent the trip chatting to the company observer guy. I told him that they should give me a personal tour of Chicago when we got there.

But they just dropped me at the greyhound station as per usual.

 

Chicago was in the middle of a heat wave and it was stinking hot. It was not so much the windy city as the sizzling city. I got a 3 day CTA pass and caught a bus to the air conditioned hostel where I waited for my friend. I ended up waiting less than 10mins so it was excellent timing.

 

DannyBoy and I went to a veggie place for lunch and then caught the train out to a REI store.

Being from Canada DannyBoy was used to mountain equipment co op. (I regularly spot Canadian backpackers not by the flags on their bags but by the MEC name).

DannyBoy loves to by travel stuff and we are always talking about new toys. In REI he looked at knives. I would pick one up and do my best croc Dundee impression “that’s not a knife this is a knife!”

He didn’t buy any and I resisted the pretty coloured Leatherman knives.

 

We stopped at a nearby apple store to map a route and got back on the train to Addison.

This is where Wrigley Field is but we were on a different mission.

Pizza!

Ian’s pizza sells vegan pizza by the slice, they have several options and it is all awesome.

But it was not Chicago deep dish pizza. I did try deep dish pizza in Wisconsin and it was good. But it was not in Chicago and I would have liked to have done it right. Sadly I never did find a place with vegan deep dish pizza.

 

DannyBoy tried a very non vegan deep dish at another meal and it was huge!

He wouldn’t tip and would say “what’s the difference between a canuck and a canoe, a canoe tips”. I just thought it made him a cunt.

I wasn’t impressed and I’d tip extra to try and make up for him while telling him how I didn’t like the tipping system either but I knew that it was how it was done in the states and that they got paid very little. I may not be generous with the gratuities if not necessary but when in Rome...

 

 

The hostel had a free breakfast (they had bagels and apples!) with a great view of the el trains on the loop.

We set off early and walked to the Art Institute of Chicago. We were almost there when we got caught in a massive rainstorm.

As I walked dripping into the museum gift store the saleslady took one look at me and informed us that they sold umbrellas. Yeah a little late lady!

 

We started exploring the museum by going up the brightly lit led stairs. They had words on them, in colour!

 Found the most famous painting. American gothic. This is the one with the famer, his daughter and the pitchfork.  Random fact: It was actually the guy who posed as the famer was the painter’s dentist.

Devil Duckie liked the pitchfork. It made him feel at home and the art institute lets you take photos.

 

The strangest display was blank white canvases on white walls. I would have thought that it was just nothing but then I wondered if it was some kind of modern art thing as they do have that kind of art.

One of the modern displays was literally a huge pile of candy. I was like this is art? It just looks like a really good Halloween haul!

 

We took a break for lunch and discovered that Subway had falafel. I guess that this was just a test store but I hope that it catches on.

We sat in a little garden by the museum to eat before heading back in.

I thought we had seen everything except a train coming out of a fireplace painting that was apparently on loan to someone else. And we did it all with two minutes to spare before closing time. But later I realised that we had missed some miniatures in the basement. I love mini stuff so this was a bummer.

 

So we left the museum and walked to Millennium Park and the tourist magnet with the official name of Cloud Gate but that is known as the bean. The thought has crossed my warped mind that if everyone tried to eat a bean that big then Chicago would be a windy city indeed.

The bean had been high on my list of things to see and I liked it. It was so pretty and shiny. It was interesting to stand and try to see yourself in the reflection as the curves meant that it could be hard to find the right spot.

The skyline reflected was awesome too.

 

After this we were very hot and tired and thirsty so DannyBoy suggested that we get slurpees and ride the el train. The slurpees are icy cold and refreshing, the train has seats and air-conditioning so to me this was just the best idea ever, pure genius.

 

The 7 elevens in the USA have a huge selection of slurpee flavours. Other countries you usually don’t get more than 2 choices, here I had a whole row and I decided to try cowboys and aliens flavour. DannyBoy said that really I shouldn’t have that one until I had seen the movie to see if it was any good. But it had blue raspberry and lemonade in it so I knew it would be a winner (I still haven’t seen the film so no idea if that was a winner).

As we had the passes it cost us nothing to ride the el train so we sat there in comfort, watching the view and chatting as we rode the orange line around town while sucking back on a blue frozen drink. We went out to Midway Airport and back and on the return we did a lap of the loop.

 

DannyBoy arranged for us to do a free walking tour the next day.

We stopped on the way and I bought a magnet. It had everything on one magnet.

It was shaped like a t-shirt, it had the flag, it said Chicago and it had the outline of the skyline.

 

The instagreeter tour was run from the cultural centre and was on the architecture in the loop.

I correctly guessed that one display was done by the same guy (Chagall) who did a blue wall in the art institute. The mosaic is called Four Seasons, the art institute is the home of America Windows.

 

The guide pointed out features on buildings and we even went into a couple.

The best was the Marquette building as the lobby has an elaborate upper level balcony decorated with biblical art on all sides. The hexagon has panels have mosaics of a missionary that the building was named after.

 

After the tour we took the el train to Addison again. This time there was a cub’s game on at Wrigley Field so we stopped to take in the sporting atmosphere, I spotted how some houses had put seats on their roof which was rather enterprising.

But we had a goal, and it was once again food.

We went to the Chicago diner. It was busy and we had to wait 20mins to get a table but it was totally worth it. I had a hard time deciding what to get. I get this problem at places with vegan options. Usually there is like one thing on the menu I can eat. Come to a veg place and I am all ooohh decisions.

I went with the breakfast bowl and it was a good choice. Yum yum.

 

When full of food we wandered back to an el station and got on a crowded train (the game was over). Got off at the end of the magnificent mile and walked down it, browsing in fancy stores.

One building had the scariest looking fire escape I had ever seen. It was at the Allerton Hotel and way way high up. Remind me not to check in for the next great Chicago fire...

 

At the other end of the mile (is it actually a mile?) was a statue of Marilyn Monroe dressed like the famous scene from the seven year itch. Not quite sure of the connection as the movie was set in New York but I guess Chicago is the windy city and her dress is blowing up. Everyone was looking up her skirt.

 

We caught a tram to Navy Pier which is supposed to be Chicago’s number one tourist attraction. There were lots of people walking the length of it. We checked out the scene there but made sure to leave in time to catch a bus back to the hostel, it is stupid how the buses stop running before the fireworks finish. Apparently a lot of tourists get caught out by that.

A guy at the hostel had a rickshaw so we sent him over there to find fares.

 

The next day I was back on the greyhound bus. But on the bus out of Chicago I wasn’t the only passenger.

Fortunately no one pulled any weapons (I can only assume they had them but kept them hidden) during the trip.

I passed the time with This American Life podcasts (It was funny to me how I was near Racine while listening to a story about a prom there) and reflecting on my trip to Chicago.

I have to say it’s an excellent city to visit. I would be happy if I found myself back there and if I do my goal will be to try to see more Frank Lloyd Wright stuff.

And finally find a vegan deep dish pizza of course!

Lazy cow syndrome

So this viral video is getting the hits lately.

 

It is the story of Doreen a “benefit scrounger”

I usually have a sense of humour but something about this triggers something in me.

Guess it comes from my life experience as after my parents split my sisters and I were raised by a mother on benefits.

 

Now I realise that this is a mockumentary and it is from Britain, while when I was living in poverty it was on the other side of the world. But still I just think that this reinforces myths about what life is like.

For example the whole thing about the government paying for houses, cars and sky TV, yeah right.

We were so poor that we didn’t even have a phone.

This literally could have killed me.

 

I don’t mean being a teen and unable to organise a social life.

When I was sixteen, I was home alone and had an accident. I fell and cut my leg on some glass.

With no phone I just waited until everyone came home and my mother used the neighbour’s phone. Fifteen stitches and I was fine.

But what if my injury was more serious? I know often people do the “what if” and it’s something that would never happen. But I don’t think it is that wild to imagine that the glass could have cut an artery. Then unable to summon help I would have died that day.

 

While the video says that Doreen just doesn’t want to work. I suspect that the reality of the situation for real women struggling as single mothers is that even if they do want to work did the likelihood of getting a job is slim. Critics seem to think that there are jobs out there for everyone but the reality is that there is not. Especially with that little thing called a recession going on.

Plus there is the issue of childcare which if available is often so expensive that it would cost more that she would earn.

 

This video just perpetuates the negative image of beneficiaries and creates a public hatred towards these people based on jealousy of perceived advantages that in reality they do not receive.

But why let little things like the truth get in the way of a good story?

Hell isn’t it more fun to imagine these women as slutty druggy lazy chavs who spend the rest of their spare time swimming thru piles of government provided cash like Scrooge McDuck.

 

My feelings after watching the video also reminded me of a posting I recently saw on Facebook:

OK..SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT ... If you cross the North Korean border illegally, you get 12 yrs. hard labor. If you cross the Afghanistan border illegally, you get shot. Two Americans just got eight years… for crossing the Iranian border. If you cross the Australian Border illegally you get a job, a drivers license, food stamps, a place to live, health care, housing & child benefits, education, & a tax free business for 7 yrs ...No wonder we are a country in debt... RE-POST if you agree

 

I pointed out that it looked like it was written for Americans and then just changed to Australia and it wasn’t even true in the USA.

 

But thinking about it more and really considering the issue I then have to ask, what is this posting saying? That countries should try to emulate the evil and be like those with brutal barbaric regimes?

That treating people poorly is the way to go?

Call me a bleeding heart liberal but I would honestly rather have my tax dollars going to helping desperate people than to start shooting them if they dare to cross my country’s borders.

 

To sum it up I’m just annoyed at things like these viral videos and posts creating more hatred for people in the lowest socioeconomic groups. These are not people living in luxury, they are people for whom every day is a struggle.

But why let facts get in the way of opinions? As it seems to me that the real syndrome is the problem of people choosing to believe things that help them to hate others.

 

Perhaps it should be called ‘I resent others I perceive to be getting an easy ride even if they aren’t syndrome’. Or ‘I’m too lazy to actually really think about an issue properly syndrome’.

It saddens me that the world seems to be awash in the output of a plague of diseased minds attempting to convince others (and I would say succeeding) to cast scorn upon those less fortunate than themselves.

Just a lil bit country

I must admit to wondering what kind of place I’d ended up in the day I went to the local Farmer's Market and saw not one but two separate people playing the accordion (no other instruments were seen being played). Had I randomly and accidentally entered The Polka Zone???

 

Although admittedly this was a one off and mostly my experience despite being in the northern Midwestern state of Wisconsin was of country music. I had always thought of this as more of a southern states thing. As the south is Dixie because it is below the Mason Dixon line (that bit that separates us from the bible belt) and I like The Dixie Chicks.

Rosie had her car radio set to play country music. So every time we were cruising around it was to songs by Brad Paisley, Tim McGraw and the like.

I ended up downloading some of their music and now every time I listen to it I am reminded of hanging out in America with Rosie.

I have great memories, like the time when diving around we’d often passed the same barn. I told Rosie we should give it a name and she came up with the perfect name: Barney!

 

She also liked blue collar comedians like Bill Engvall and the ventriloquist Jeff Dunham. My favourite character was José the Jalapeno on a Stick but Achmed the Dead Terrorist is pretty funny too.

What I do know is that I like it when Rosie gets drunk (she likes to get drunk and cook days) with her favourite alcohol named Captain which she says tastes like cake. She will talk southern and make me happy by quoting trash talkin turleen. 

 

 

 

But my real country experience was when we went up nort as they call it. I wondered if it was like down south but without the banjos...

I must admit that I’ve never seen Deliverance and I probably should have to complete my education in the way of the American wilderness dweller.

 

Before we left for some northern exposure I took the dog for a walk. She dragged me around the house and jumped in the car. She did not want to be left behind! She didn’t have to worry, she was coming with us.

 

I really liked this husky, as I would call her a hairball with a bark. Seriously when brushing her we would stop when she got sick of it, not when she ran out of hair. She would sing along to squeaky deaky and when she got it in to her head that I was taking her out she would follow me around until I walked her.

There was a crime when in a doggy ducknapping she came into my room and took Devil Duckie but we rescued my travel mascot before any harm was done.

 

The wolf (she looks like a wolf but she’s really a dork) had a fish toy and she would shake it so much it fell apart.

I sewed it up for her one day and she carefully watched me performing the operation wanting her fishy back.

My other crafting in the country was making an iPod cover for Rosie. I love the eco felt and the craft stores in America have a fine selection.

Rosie requested a super Mario cover as she has a Nintendo NES she likes to play.

We went with a controller on one side and a fire flower on the other.

 

 

Anyway back to the backwoods.

We set off me, Rosie, her 9yr old niece (let’s call her Daisy) and the dog.

We passed Port Washington and I was all hey that’s the place from Step by Step, because I am cool enough to remember lame 90’s sitcoms.

For lunch we stopped in Green Bay, I didn’t see much of it but I know that the football team is called the Packers and they wanted to bus kids from there to Rome Wisconsin in an episode of Picket Fences which was a good 90’s American show. I love how America is full of places from the TV shows of my youth.

 

Our final destination was a place called Sturgeon Bay in the weirdly named Door County. It is the bit of Wisconsin that sticks out into the lake so maybe it should be Thumb County? Although I think Michigan has claimed looking like a mitten status. Seriously, I didn’t make this up!

 

Rosie’s family’s shack is apparently worth 5 thousand dollars and the lake front land half a million!

After settling in we went for a walk along the pier which is concrete and by a lighthouse and canal.

We looked at the lake. It was rather cold that day and there were big waves. The lake is huge! I couldn’t see the other side. I guess they don’t call it a great lake for nothing.

 

With the weather cold and it getting dark we went back to the cabin and got a fire going.

We played games Monopoly, Game of Life, Skip Do and Clue then watched a DVD (Despicable Me).

For dinner I ate veggie burgers. Rosie and Daisy ate meaty stuff and then made the American camping classic known as s’mores. Daisy managed to burn her finger on the melted marshmallow that is put with chocolate between a couple of crackers.

 

When it was beddy byes time, I slept on a pull out sofa bed beside the fire.

During the night it got very hot from the fire so I opened the door to let in some cool air. Then the fire went out and I had to get up to close the door as the temperature inside dropped during the early hours.

 

We were only spending a single night so after breakfast we cleaned up the place and headed back.

We stopped for lunch in a place called Sheboygan. It’s just fun to say! Oh and it apparently has a spaceport, strange but true fact I looked up online just now.

 

I didn’t manage to make it to The American Club in Kohler which is somewhere nearby. Yes Kohler as in the bathroom fixtures. That’s where the factory is and the hotel which is listed in 1000 Places to See Before You Die and apparently has really nice bathrooms.

Shame we didn’t have the masses of cash needed to stay there.

 

And that concludes my account of my short venture into the backwoods of Wisconsin. It was a pleasant experience and I have not and don’t expect to suffer any future nightmares from it (I read the Deliverance wiki...)

 

Lastly I just want to add that my only other country thing was done safely back at Rosie’s house and was online.

It was hunting which is a very redneck thing to do, but being a vegan I found the perfect game Tofu Hunter.

I love killing wild tofu with high powered weapons, especially the trophy bucks!

Americana

So there I was in the mighty country known as the United States of America.

Yes the homeland of the seppo’s was being infiltrated by an undercover Kiwi.

I was in the great state of Wisconsin, what better place for a vegan than Americans dairyland? (Although I would have loved to find a magnet that said Wisconsin, come smell our dairy air).

I was near Milwaukee a place where the buses go to Lovers Lane (for group trips?) and the stadium collapsed during construction.

The city is where the TV show Happy Days was set and where Jeffery Dahmer did his serial killing (Rosie’s mom used to work in a building right by where his apartment was and showed me the spot).

The state is also where the onion began I was interested to see that you could get it in newspaper form there.

 

I was actually really into the whole small town Americana thing and I did my best to fit in.

During my first days as a Wild Kiwi in small town America I discovered that everyone loved my accent and I spotted a squirrel, two chipmunks and a crazy drunk neighbour in their natural habitat.

 

The area I was staying in despite technically being a city was so rural and surround by trees that there were deer that would just roam the streets and backyards. I would look around and be like this doesn’t look like a city, too much nature and not enough buildings.

The downside to this was that everything was spread out and I realised that it was true that America really is a country for cars. As I don’t drive and the public transport system was pretty lame I was kind of trapped at my friend’s house.

 

But it was nice there. I would walk her dog around the neighbourhood and marvel at how with the number of American flags of display there were surely more flags than people!

If I had to describe small town America by two items it would be flags and water towers.

 

I taped three shows on the DVR, I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant, The Colbert Report and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

It was cool as they were actually relevant. I mean the last two!

And oh I did laugh the day that Rosie’s mom called the tea party a bunch of tea baggers and Rosie had to explain to her exactly what tea bagging involves.

 

To really get into the American way of life I started couponing. I would cut out coupons from the Sunday papers and the good thing about being in America is the all the online stuff about coupons is actually relevant.

One of the tofu companies had a giveaway where if you sent in barcodes you could get shorts with extra firm written on the ass. It was suggested that if I wore them it would be false advertising. The cheek!

But back to me being the coupon queen, I was totally winning at extreme couponing. I shopped on double double daze coupon day at the grocery store. I even managed to get free products and I felt so American.

But deep down I tried not to dwell on thoughts about how I was probably better off in a country that was just cheaper without having to use coupons.

 

 

Religion is big in America and I was there for the (not) rapture.

We had a little yay The Rapture didn't get me celebration with Vegan nachos, virgin coladas and plans that didn’t quite happen to make some cookies as we all know that they are required for being on the dark side.

 

On the subject of food and especially close encounters of the vegan kind I have to say that America is pretty damn awesome.

They have a truly impressive selection of vegan products.

The vegan ice cream selection alone is almost enough to make me move there permanently.

Seriously they have alternatives made of rice, soy, almond or coconut milk and there are fancy flavours like cookie dough and chocolate fudge brownie. 

 

I made a vegan raspberry cheesecake (which Rosie renamed it 'soy cake'). I also made a tofu chocolate silk pie that was well received.

I tried a different state of vegan food with Hawaiian hotdogs. They are hotdogs in a bun with baked beans, bbq sauce and pineapple on top. Delicious.

The meltable joy of Daiya cheese is excellent and I drool remembering the twice baked stuffed jacket potatoes I created.

 

 

I was also there for the fourth of July (hey if I am going to fly for 14.5hrs to the other side of the world I’m going to stick around for awhile) and we went to watch the local Independence Day parade.

The parade was not unexpectedly very red white and blue small town America.

 Filled with local people on floats and walking the parade route. The funniest float was guys in huge top hats with faces on their bare bellies. There were also a lot of classic cars, marching bands and dogs in costumes.

 

It was a very hot day so I was glad that not only did they throw candy but also frozen ice sticks, I managed to get a big stash of these frozen ice lollies and used them to cool off. Every so often pulling a fresh one out from under our blanket and holding it against my neck.

 

Although instead of the free ice sticks I must admit I was more enamoured with the idea of eating a rocket pop.

They just seemed very American to me with their red white and blue colours.

But I discovered that I am retarded or they are more dangerous that bomb shaped coloured frozen ice would appear. Because alas as I ate one it the ice stuck to my lip and I had to squirt water from my water bottle to try and free myself.

In the end I declared them to be painful but tasty.

Grounded

I recently read the book Grounded by Seth Stevenson. The premise of the book is that the author and his girlfriend attempt to travel around the world without flying.

 

While I personally love flying I would also like to circumnavigate the globe without leaving its surface. I have long held the dream of doing a world cruise .This being the easy way of doing this kind of trip.

But reading this did make me want to try it the harder way too.

 

Before I picked up this book I’d had an idea of a long overland trip.

I want to catch the Trans Siberian train from Russia to China via Mongolia. Then travel across China to Tibet (there is a train that does this route now). I would then visit Bhutan, Nepal etc before travelling around India.

I haven’t looked into the feasibility of this trip in regards to border crossings, visas and the best time of year to be in each place. (The trouble with travelling between hot and cold places is the extra clothes you need to pack. If I go to a hot place I would rather take only my smaller carry on sized pack).

 

I really enjoyed reading this book so I was actually rather surprised when I read the reviews on Amazon and found so many of them to be negative.

Yes I did think when reading the book that they didn’t spend much time in each place and that if I’d done it I would have spent longer exploring every destination.  But I just thought hey to each their own if that’s the way they want to travel it’s their trip.

Plus being a fan of snark I liked their comments about the people they encountered along the way. I laughed out loud at some of their quips.

 

I was not disappointed that the book did not go into much detail about all the places they visited. I am sure there are many books that do and if that’s what you want it can’t be hard to find one.

But this book focused on the actual journey of how hard it can be to circumnavigate the globe without leaving the ground and I liked that the fast pace of the book about their slow trip made this a quick easy read.

The book wasn’t bogged down with details but it still had some interesting facts about things like the development of container shipping.

 

Somewhat ironically the uncomplicated writing in this book means that this would be a good book to read on a long flight.

New Year, new plan

So it is time for a new approach to this blog.

I have been trying to record events in the order they occurred, but it occurs to me that this is really not working out too well as the procrastination is winning.

So I am thinking that my new approach will be to be able to write things that are current (like hey the Dugger’s still suck!) and also to skip back to things way back in the dark ages of how far behind I am with this blog.

Sure it makes things more complicated for you my lovely lonely audience of about one. But you obviously being supremely smart will be able to cope I am sure.

 

You may have noticed that I have a different look to the blog now. I decided to try out the new format for the sole but very compelling reason that it is free. My second favourite price after getting paid to something. To actually get paid I think you need the better version of typepad where you can place ads. But since you actually need people to see the ads that not gonna be happening for me anything soon (I hear rumours that people kinda wanna read a blog that actually has new posts).

So it is the free version for me for now. I am hoping that if I decided I preferred the old version I can change back. But I don’t know for sure and I am not checking in case it can’t be done. Best to postpone any buyer’s remorse I say.

 

I also think that a new name might be good but I haven’t been struck by any inspiration for a catchy new title. So you my sole reader have a great responsibly when I ask for any suggestions in the comments.

Go on don’t be shy, go ahead and recommend anything. It’s just you and me here.